Hi Rainey.This is a very good question. For me, using the dilators helped me both physically as well as emotionally. Physically, they worked immediately to stretch the muscles to the point that intercourse did not hurt at all and there was no burning pain. Mentally, I felt no anxiety with intercourse after using the dilators b/c I had a sense of security that I was so well stretched, it would cause no pain at all, which it did not. Eventually, my husband and I began having intercourse without me dilating in advance and this also worked very well b/c I had spent so much time with the dilators previously (i.e. 2 hours p/day and then every other night sleeping with one in). One thing that I still enjoy prior to intercourse and that is a part of our foreplay is using a vibrator. I feel like this helps me to be physically stretched and mentally prepared and we just have a lot of fun and both enjoy this. The Candy Stick vibrator is actually a little bigger than the blue pure romance dilator (largest one) and may be something to think about as you noted that your partner is large. We have the grape Candy Stick and use this often. Hope this helps. :):):)
