Good Housekeeping recently had an article, “Your Sexiest Self — Get It Back” (February, 2010). It poignantly described one woman’s loss of libido for all of the usual reasons: overwhelmed with life, kids entering the picture, relationship getting “old,” she was getting older.
So the writer and her husband saw noted psychologist and sex therapist David Schnarch for a three hour session. Presto! Whammo! In one afternoon their primary issues were identified and addressed and she was back in the game.
Okay, so I’m oversimplifying things. But the author did comment on the fact that once her husband was able to be “real” with her and get “angry” and not always be “so nice,” she experienced real desire for him for the first time in a long while.
That is great.
I mean it.
I’m skeptical it will last, though. Really intense emotions and sudden epiphanies and moment of deep connection are important and no doubt do wonders for the short term sex drive. They really help. And some times, honestly, kick-starting the sexual relationship with a short term energy blast can make all the difference and turn things around again.
But I think that often, when the ongoing, slow simmer of a regular sex drive is gone, it’s important to get the whole picture, that is the physical stuff as well as the psychological stuff.
So if you’re one of those people who’ve been able to create moments of deep passion through sex therapy, but have wondered why these moments don’t seem to sustain themselves, don’t give up. Get the whole picture.