Sexual dysfunction is a complicated problem and often it isn’t one thing – or one person’s issue – that is causing it. If the problem goes on long enough, often it begins to affect other issues in the relationship. I notice that women often take on this problem as their own, “It’s my fault” or “It is my problem” or “My husband is fine, it is ME!” At times, partners may be contributing to the problem or experiencing sexual dysfunction themselves. At the Center, we work with our female patients to achieve optimal sexual functioning, but at times, we can only take the patient so far and may need her husband or partner to seek treatment as well. He may be suffering from sexual dysfunctions such as difficulty achieving or maintaining his erection, low desire or ejaculation problems. At times, men are embarrassed about getting help and therefore stop initiating lovemaking. If this disrupts the natural patterns in a relationship, sexual activity may decrease in frequency and women are then left wondering what happened. The lack of desire may become magnified, no one feels comfortable initiating sex and we have sexual gridlock! No on’e s moving. No one’s initiating. No one’s talking about it. And…no one’s having sex!
Keep in mind that sexual issues are a multidimensional and it is important to investigate this from many angles. If you begin to sense gridlock in your sex life, stop the cycle, be gentle with your partner, and try to understand what’s happening between you. If it appears to be a physical issue, there are practitioners who can help men and those who specialize in women’s sexuality. If it doesn’t seem to be sourced in a physical problem, often some short term couples therapy can help you talk through immediate issues and get back to business!
