In my work and in my life, I see a great deal of suffering. The thing that always touches me is how significantly someone’s suffering can be relieved when they share about it. The thing most people really want is connection, and when we suffer we need to feel connected to others even more.
Several years ago I was at a conference on a technique based in Attachment Theory. The speaker showed a picture of a fetus being operated on in the womb. Midway through the surgery, the baby reached out and the surgeon grabbed its tiny hand. It was very profound. From our first few moments of life we need to feel connected and I think that need only grows over time. The statistics on people in partnerships are significant – it does not need to be a marriage or a relationship that has longevity, but those that are connected to people around them have better health, less depression and live longer.
Sometimes it very difficult to reach out to others, particularly when we are hurt or in pain. In my work at the Center I see many women who suffer with sexual dysfunction. They often start our first session by saying that I saw your ad long ago, or I found your number last year and I never called. This always makes me sad because if we had treated them sooner, we could have stopped their suffering sooner. And some issues, when untreated, get worse over time. So if you or someone you know is suffering with sexual dysfunction, advise them to reach out. You will be very glad that you did.