The other day I was talking to a patient who originally came in for the treatment of low desire and painful intercourse. A few months into her treatment, her relationship with her husband has transformed and she is feeling more satisfied in her marriage as a result.
When we were discussing her progress, she said that the change in her libido and her renewed interest in being sexual with her husband reminds her of a story from when she was pregnant decades ago. It went something like this (patient gave me permission to share the story):
Husband: “Honey, would you like to order Chinese food?”
Wife: “Chinese food?? I don’t like Chinese food!”
Husband: “Huh? You don’t like Chinese food? We had it all the time before you were pregnant.”
Wife: “Nope. I don’t like Chinese food. And I never did.”
Needless to say, after the baby was born she was back to eating Chinese food. And she liked it.
When she shared the story with us, she said that after years of low desire and painful intercourse, she not only had little interest in sex, but it was hard to imagine a time that she had EVER had interest in it. She had become so habituated to sex not being part of her life that she forgot that it can be enjoyable. Now that her desire has improved and the pain has been resolved, she feels a sense of ‘oh right……I DO like this!’
There are certainly women who suffer from low desire and always have. But there are also those who have not always had a low desire but the passage of time has brought them to a point where they no longer can remember a time when things were better. Fortunately, treatment for sexual dysfunction has enabled women to not only experience sexual satisfaction in the now, but to habituate to a new and exciting ‘normal’ with their partner.
