In my last blog entry, I talked about a hypothetical college course teaching young adults how to love. The more I think about this idea the more vital I think it is. Because so many marriages end in divorce wouldn’t it be helpful if young people had more education and guidance around such an important decision? I have seen many people whose parents have had long and satisfying marriages but whatever works in that marriage may not translate to how they find a partner.
For the discovery of self, or the process of figuring out who you are and what you like, which I think is the best place to start when trying to be in a healthy relationship, I would recommend Brene Brown, The Gift of Imperfection.
For the process of selecting a partner, I would recommend a book called Attached, by Levin and Heller. It explains what attachment theory is and how it can impact our choice of partners and how easy or hard it is to maintain intimacy based on one’s attachment style. There is a quiz which clearly helps the reader identify their own attachment style and learn more about the impact it can have on intimacy.
For those already in a relationship that might be struggling with it. I would recommend Hold Me Tight, by Sue Johnson. She is a couples therapist and researcher on relationships. This is a wonderful book to understand the patterns that exist in a relationship and how to make them better.
When it comes to learning about sex, I would recommend the following books: What Your Mother Never Told You About Sex, The Guide To Getting It On and She Comes First.
Obviously this is just a starting point, but I think it is very important. Why would we educate so little about an aspect of life that matters so much? Happy reading and let me know what you think!