Since when has sex become a competitive sport? Is there an imaginary command in our psyches saying “on your mark, get set, go “ and a judge timing us at the finish line? We worry about what is the “normal” amount of time for a sexual encounter.
Patients at Maze bring this concern up from time to time : Such as “sex only lasted 12 minutes.” But, guess what? In Maureen O’Connor’s N.Y. Times Magazine article in the September 21-October 4, 2015 issue titled , “How Long Should Sex Actually Last?”, she writes that most researchers agree that the average is “something like 6 minutes.”
Commonly, peoples’ response to this is “that’s all?” A 2008 survey of sex therapists found that 7-13 minutes is “desirable .” So, if everyone wants the sexual experience to be longer, why not “fool around” more ? Or is it that couples aren’t communicating ? Is it that the encounter seems longer but the clock tells a different story ? Are we overestimating how much we truly desire? Or even just thinking that we are supposed to want it to last longer?
It seems to me that having a good time whether it’s a “quickie” or “gourmet sex” is what truly matters. If there has to be a clock involved, there is a 24-hour sex position wall clock that can be purchased on Amazon!
For the complete NY Times Magazine Article, click here.