Over years we’ve had many women who have come here for treatment for low desire. Odds are, the woman has spent a lot of time trying to figure out what’s behind the low desire, why is it like that, what can change it, will it ever get better, etc. What’s interesting is how often it emerges during the interview that the woman is also having pain during intercourse, and it’s mentioned as an aside.
If intercourse has become painful or always was, it totally makes sense that you wouldn’t want to be sexual. Yes, having a low desire can certainly affect how much a woman is “into it”. But pain during intercourse can happen for a variety of reasons. Whether it’s intercourse or not, sexual activity can become associated with pain and disappointed and something you may want to avoid. Why would you want to do an activity that time and time again has led to pain?
Like many things in our lives, the different components of sexual functioning overlap and affect each other in various ways. When sex is painful, it can be a real damper on the whole sexual experience.