People often ask about how to be better at initiating sex — they aren’t sure how to do it and they want concrete ideas. They may feel shy, anxious or inhibited, sometimes because of past rejection, sometimes because they don’t think they’re good at it. So here are a just a few ideas that have come up in my work — some from me, some from my clients. I’m sure there will be more in the future…
- Initiating sex does not have to happen at 10pm when you’re both already in bed. Send your partner a text message or email during the day saying, “I’m thinking about you… can’t wait to see you when I get home.” That way, your partner has the option of saying tonight’s not a good night if it isn’t, and no one is left out on a limb. Or, hopefully, their sexual thoughts can start flowing early on in the day.
- Bring home a bottle of scented massage oil…patchouli, anyone?
- Initiate sex by doing something for yourself! If you know you tend to initiate less often, why not do something for yourself that will get you into the mood? Read something sexy, give yourself a few minutes to fantasize about something that turns you on, wear underwear that makes you feel sexy.
- Try role-play and/or toys: trying something new can be a great way to spice things up. Act out a sexual fantasy or bring your vibrator to bed. Find out how to choose the right vibrator for you.
The possibilities are endless….
For more information about your sexual health, contact us for a free phone consultations. We’re more than happy to help!