I recently attended a Zoom meeting with 20+ other New York City sex and relationship therapists on the subject of how online counseling, or “TeleHealth,” has transformed their practices. Some of what I heard surprised me. Many said they missed seeing their clients in person, and that TeleHealth therapy was harder and took more energy. …Continue Reading
Young Adults Make Better Sexual Health Decisions When They Understand Their Own Feelings
In the summer of 2015, I was honored to be asked to contribute to a new interactive online resource for young adults, Student Sexual Health 101. As an office practitioner who spends most of his time counseling individuals and couples, I appreciated the chance to bring the knowledge I’ve gained over the past 25+ years about …Continue Reading
Slow sex in Manhattan.
The cultivation of sexual mindfulness. One rainy Friday afternoon in mid-summer, I traveled uptown to speak with Nicole Daedone, a former professor of semantics who now devotes herself full-time to teaching what must be one of the world’s most curious mindfulness techniques. At Daedone’s OneTaste Urban Retreat Center in San Francisco, and at workshops she …Continue Reading
NYC sex therapist responds to New York Times opinion piece on Sprout Pharmaceuticals’ “Pink Viagra”.
As a sex therapist who also happens to be a medical doctor, I’m used to disagreeing with a lot of what I read about sexual pharmacology. But the recent New York Times opinion piece “Nothing Is Wrong With Your Sex Drive” — regarding Sprout Pharmaceuticals’ new FDA application for flibanserin (so-called “Pink Viagra”) — seemed …Continue Reading
LinkedUp: A new dating app.
As a sex therapist I spend a lot of time counseling single people about how to find good partners. That’s gotten a lot easier since online dating has radically increased the number of people to choose from. But online dating has its disadvantages. It’s great if you’re just looking for a hookup or casual fling. …Continue Reading
In her new book An Intimate Life, sex surrogate Cheryl Cohen Greene (the one portrayed by Helen Hunt in The Sessions) describes her work with a man who has been unable to get an erection with his wife. After much exploration, it is discovered that the source of his problem is a very simple one: …Continue Reading
What’s the secret to making romantic love last?
Dining and Differentiation What’s the secret to keeping passion alive? There’s no one best answer, and every couple is different. But many therapists, myself included, talk about something called “differentiation” as a key factor. Differentation means being able to take care of yourself, as a separate person, while you’re in intimate dialog with your mate. …Continue Reading
Inifidelity at the office — and how to avoid It.
Yes, it could happen to you. You’re human. Because they’re there. The most common reason romantic love happens with coworkers is simply because they’re there. We spend a lot of time at work — often more total time with our coworkers than our family members. That’s just the reality of the modern workplace. We’re built …Continue Reading
When should a sex therapist recommend “Fifty Shades of Grey” to couples?
Can Fifty Shades save your relationship? I’m hearing the same thing from sex therapists all over the country — if you recommend Fifty Shades of Grey to clients who are stuck in unhappy sexual relationships, some of them will come back reporting better sex. We sex therapists are practical folks. We’ll use whatever works — as long …Continue Reading
Mass erotic choice as a social organizer — from “Beatlemania” to “Fifty Shades of Grey.”
The questions never change. Working as a sex therapist, I have more than a passing interest in what the culture happens to be serving up about eros. Part of it is simply curiosity about what my clients are reading. But the greater part involves a search for conceptual tools with which to understand the erotic …Continue Reading