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Most of my patients are not big fans of the vaginismus.com plastic dilators with handles. I hear many complaints of discomfort using these. (I would love to hear the experience of others.) It is the reason I had shorter Pyrex glass dilators made-all measure 3 1/2 inches in length and have a tapered tip as well as an ergonomic fit around the vulva.
The lack of support after treatment is a common reason my patients fail treatment elsewhere. There continues to be high anxiety after treatment. Women often complain they make faster progress physically than they do emotionally.
For someone like yourself I would suggest slow stretch where you might be using a comfortable size dilator for at least a week before progressing to the next size. You may be able to tolerate the next size for only 5 minutes. That’s OK. 5 minutes is better than zero minutes. Try this gradation for about a week, each week advancing to the next size dilator two hours a day and sleeping with a comfortable dilator every second night. Women get impatient when progress is not quick enough. Like any physical therapy you may have to work on stretching the vagina over a period of months. Though many of my patients are able to make rapid progress, there is always a group that takes longer to respond. Some of my patients continued dilating for about a year before they felt comfortable transitioning to intercourse. Much of this is discussed in the two hour DVD that you can order from my office.
Most importantly give yourself the time you need and try to stay the course. Now that you have had some penetration this will be helpful in overcoming the residual anxiety so common after treatment.