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Hi Palmtree. I think this is a very good topic of ways to become more comfortable with male thrusting. I think it is excellent that you have been using the dilators to imitate the thrusting motion and practicing this way. Another thing that really helped us was to use a vibrator in advance of intercourse and imitate the thrusting movement with this as well. For me, the vibrator felt very different than the dilators. Some of the different types of vibrators include Candy Stick and Lelo Liv. This seriously worked wonders for relaxation in addition to adequately stretching prior to intercourse. Also, by allowing my hubby to be involved with this, it helped me to build trust and allowed me to not feel like I needed to be in as much control.
Another thread that may be helpful discusses Positions of Comfort Post-Vaginismus:
For the veterans out there, what else have you found that helps you to relax in order to allow your husband/partner to thrust freely???