24 weeks pregnant

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• February 12, 2016 at 1:24 pm #9436
  salvarezm91

  Participant

  Hello everyone I’m stephanie , I am 4years post procedure and 24 weeks pregnant! I have been thinking about my birth plan. And with all this anxiety I have with hospitals and doctors and the bad experiences I have had, I’ve been thinking that I want to go the midwife route. I want to birth in a birth center disguised as a home. I would like to not be confined to a bed maybe water birth and just be able to be comfortable and roam as I please and let my body do what it needs to do on its own. With that said there would be no epidural.

  my OBGYN said that she’s had patients like me with vaginismus and that she’s done c sections on them. Or that the best thing would be to get an epidural because I have vaginal spasms. She really didn’t give me any options and just told me that I HAVE to have it on a bed that there was no other way. And who knows maybe that will be the place I end up on. But I think that I would do a lot better in a place that is calm and no rushing in and out and with many options.

  I just need advice from someone and their birthing experience

  Hope you all are doing good!

  Stephanie

  February 12, 2016 at 2:47 pm #14043
  Heather34

  Participant

  Hi Stephanie. Huge, Huge CONGRATS! This is such wonderful news. I gave birth this past May and our beautiful baby boy is now 9 months old. I had to have a c section for medical reasons (prior neuro-surgery). I posted to another Forum member, Vashalla, who gave birth using hypnobabies and hope she can share her experience with this. I am just so, so excited for you. Are you guys going to find out the sex? We were too excited not to know and found out that we were having a boy. As far as the exams that I had during my pregnancy, I found them to be doable and not painful during my early pregnancy. Then, it was determined that I had a low lying placenta so the internal exams were almost non-existent in the middle to later months. I did notice increased sensitivity in the last month prior to May but the team was very understanding and limited the exams/tests. Sending you huge hugs and, again, huge CONGRATS!!!!

  February 12, 2016 at 4:28 pm #14045
  salvarezm91

  Participant

  Thank you so much heather! And congrats to you too! And yes we found out the sex at 11 weeks! We just could not wait haha. We are having a boy, my due date is June 2nd! We are super excited !! Wow how did they find out you had a low lying placenta?

  So giving birth naturally is something that is doable with someone who has had vaginismus. It’s just OBGYNs, well mine atleast makes it seem like it’s the end of the world. But yea I would love to hear from Vashalla and her experience.

  Thank you again heather! You’re so sweet.

  February 15, 2016 at 9:53 pm #14048
  Vashalla

  Participant

  Hi Stephanie! Giving birth vaginally is absolutely doable with vaginismus. As Heather said, I used Hypnobabies for my birth. My opinion is that if you want a certain kind of birth experience, and your doctor is naysaying it, find a different doctor who will support you, and don’t feel guilty about it one bit. You need someone who is in your corner, not someone who doubts your ability to birth your child the way you want to. Or, if you’re able to, be much more assertive with her. I also highly recommend hiring a doula. Most of them have flexible payment plans if money is a little tight for you. A doula will be there to support you before, during and after birth, and they will help you make the most informed decisions during your pregnancy, birth, and postpartum.

  I’m a firm believer in not sharing birth stories with pregnant women, because your birth will be yours. It won’t be like anyone else’s. It probably also won’t be 100% true to what you plan, because birth, like motherhood, is unpredictable. I will say this though – I birthed my son vaginally, and I have vaginismus.

  I mentioned Hypnobabies earlier, and this is something I highly recommend looking into. It’s a 6 week course, so you’ll want to start it soon if you decide to go this route. Hypnobabies is a birthing method that focuses on erasing our fears of pregnancy and birth, and I think that’s especially important for women like us. It’s great for anything from a home birth with no interventions to a hospital birth with lots of interventions. My water broke early, so I ended up with a hospital birth instead of the birthing center I wanted, but I was still able to use all of the relaxation techniques I learned, and it helped immensely. When you look into it, you’ll also see an alternative called Hypnobirthing. It’s a similar approach, but most women I talked to preferred Hypnobabies.

  Regarding getting what you want… Be an advocate for yourself. Just as an example, when I checked into the hospital, they asked me to change into a hospital gown. I declined, saying that I’d rather wear what I came in. The nurse seemed a little taken aback, but didn’t push the issue further, and I wore what I wanted to wear, thank you very much. There were some minor things I didn’t get a choice in – for instance, when the baby is actually coming out, I did have to be on the bed, but did NOT have to be laying down. The hospital’s lawyers basically don’t want the liability of having a baby fall on the floor, so the bed it was for that part. Otherwise, I walked, I sat, I squatted. I did whatever felt right at the time. If you don’t want a scheduled C-section simply because you have vaginismus, you don’t have to have one. Since your doctor already (falsely) thinks that you’ll need a C-section, I would absolutely read up in advance and know when a C-section would actually become necessary. Length of labor, as an FYI, is not an indicator for a C-section. This is also where having a doula comes in handy, because she can guide you to all of the information you’ll need to make an informed decision, especially when you’re tired and very much focused inward during your birthing time.

  February 16, 2016 at 12:30 pm #14049
  Heather34

  Participant

  Quote:

  Quote from salvarezm91 on February 12, 2016, 16:28
  Thank you so much heather! And congrats to you too! And yes we found out the sex at 11 weeks! We just could not wait haha. We are having a boy, my due date is June 2nd! We are super excited !! Wow how did they find out you had a low lying placenta?

  So giving birth naturally is something that is doable with someone who has had vaginismus. It’s just OBGYNs, well mine atleast makes it seem like it’s the end of the world. But yea I would love to hear from Vashalla and her experience.

  Thank you again heather! You’re so sweet.

  Hi Stephanie! I absolutely love all of what Vashalla said! That is so, so exciting that you are having a sweet baby boy! Yaaaaay!!! June is such a wonderful time of the year too! I am so, so, so excited for you! Having our baby has changed our lives so much for the better and is truly a dream come true for both my husband and I! During my 12th week, they found out that I had the low-lying placenta with an ultrasound as I had some minor spotting. I was restricted from using dilators and having sex as well as vigorous exercise but it had no real effects and ended up lifting towards the end of the pregnancy. Have you had your shower yet? So, so exciting. One thing that we found to almost be the most helpful in the beginning was having a Rock and Play https://www.fisher-price.com/en_us/brands/babygear/products/Auto-Rock-n-Play-Sleeper-Aqua-Stone-Fashion. Our little guy kept waking himself up in the bassinet but could sleep for hours in the Rock and Play. Sending you big hugs!!!

  February 18, 2016 at 3:52 pm #14053
  salvarezm91

  Participant

  Thank you so much Vashalla for taking your time to write all those sweet and incouraging words. I have found a midwife and a birth center that I will be going to tomorrow Friday at 3:45. We are really excited!!

  Heather, I am glad everything turned out well for you and your baby. We are so excited to start this new chapter in our lives. I have been watching a lot of home births and things like that on YouTube. I’m nervous but excited. Thanks for the recommendation of the rock and play, I actually put that on my registry. I have not had my baby shower yet. Maybe late March early April? I’m actually about to meet up with my sister and friend to plan it! Today I turned exactly 25 weeks! Time is flying!

  Thank you both so much, your kind words mean a lot. I love the support this forum gives us. Hope you all are well!

  February 26, 2016 at 5:32 pm #14268
  Heather34

  Participant

  This is all so, so exciting Stephanie. I was thinking of you today and was wondering how everything went at your appointment last Friday? Sending you hugs!!!

  March 10, 2016 at 3:56 am #18793
  salvarezm91

  Participant

  Hi heather!
  My appointment last time went sooo well!! I loved it, I have less stress and nervousness: I felt so comfortable at the birth center and I feel like weight has been lifted off my shoulders now since I won’t be giving birth at a hospital. My midwife is so kind and patient, I told her all about dr. Pacik and this forum, and how we all talk to each other from time to time. I actually have an appointment with her again this Friday March 11, I’m so excited. I am currently 7 months 🙂 .

  Hope you are doing well

  March 15, 2016 at 5:52 pm #18839
  Heather34

  Participant

  Hi Stephanie. I am so, so very happy that your appointment went great!!! It makes me feel so happy that you were able to find this excellent birthing center and a supportive and understanding midwife!!! 7 months – soooooooooo exciting! Please, please let me know how your March 11th appointment went? Our little man just turned 10 months old last week and he is crawling all over the place and will be walking before we can blink! LOL!!!! Sending you big hugs!!!

  March 24, 2016 at 3:51 pm #18883
  Heather34

  Participant

  Thinking of you Stephanie. Did you have your baby shower yet? It’s so hard to believe it but at this time last year, I was going into my last month of pregnancy and soooooo huge! Our little guy is turning 1 on 5/7/16! Time is sure flying by! Write back soon and hope all is going great during this exciting time!!! :):):)

  April 21, 2016 at 3:29 pm #19040
  Heather34

  Participant

  June is coming up soon Stephanie! Thinking of you and sending you big hugs!!!! If you read this, please write back and let us know how things are going?

  June 20, 2016 at 8:37 pm #19399
  Heather34

  Participant

  Continued thoughts of you Stephanie as you mentioned your due date was June 2nd. Sending you big hugs!!!!