A story of hope and encouragement.

[lulu]

It has been a while since I have posted on the forum. However,I wanted to share an update. For those of you that have not read any of my other posts I was one of Dr Paciks last patients. I had the botox procedure with him last July. I could tolerate exams but was still rated a level 5. I never had had painless sex with my husband of two years (9 years together) or worn a tampon. I did well with the dilating and transitioned to sex within a month. I still struggle at times and still have discomfort at times but all in all consider myself cured.
Now for the hope and encouragement part..I am writing to tell all of you that a week ago my son was born. He was two weeks early and I ended up with a csection but he is doing great! He is perfect to us and all we ever wanted. So do not give up hope! I got the procedure and then not even 17 months later had a baby. I survived all the exams and getting my water broke with a epidural that barely worked. You all can get past vaginismus and even if you have no desire to be pregnant my story is one of many others that prove you can beat this condition. Just remember there is no time line and do not compare yourself to others success or nonsuccess. We all progress differently and once you accept that you often do better in progressing in your own journey.

[mazemelissa]

Dear lulu,

Thank you so much for those great words of encouragement!

The Botox procedure can be life changing, the more patients share their success stories, hopefully more women will be encouraged to consider doing the procedure themselves.

Congratulations on the baby!

Melissa

[Rachel Hercman, LCSW]

Wow, what an inspiring story. Thank you so much for sharing this, Lulu.

So much of what is out there talks about the sad side of Vaginismus…it’s really nice to hear the other side of that. and the idea of not comparing oneself with others and setting up timelines– such an important point.

[Heather34]

Hi Lulu! I have tears in my eyes reading your story and am so, so, so happy for you!!!! Huge CONGRATS on the birth of your little boy! I absolutely LOVED your post and it is so, so inspiring and encouraging!!!!

[lulu]

Thank you everyone 🙂

[Bdb623]

This is exactly what I needed to read. Thank you. Pray for me.

[recessivegenequeen]

Bdb623, good luck with your own vaginismus journey – wherever you are in the process, know that there are thousands of women who have made it to where you want to be and can tell you that it gets better. Don’t lose hope, everyone’s path is different but beating vaginismus is very possible!

[Jennifer Dembo, LCSW]

Hi Everyone – I’m a new therapist at Maze in NY, and it’s truly inspiring to read your stories. Triumphs, losses or events in-between – these are important to everyone here. It’s wonderful to see such a supportive group of women share their own experiences and encourage one another. Thank you all for sharing, supporting, and for not giving up hope!

[lulu]

UPDATE: WOW! So much time has passed! It’s been over four years since I had the procedure done with Dr. Pacik. My husband and I now have two boys! My second child was born last year. We are done having children but are grateful for our two kiddos.

Vaginismus is virtually non-existent for me. I still get a bit nervous about exams but I feel like it’s the level of nervousness most women get. No one enjoys vaginal exams and pap smears. However, my body doesn’t freak out when a speculum is inserted and I can relax. I haven’t used my dilators since my first was born.
Sex comes naturally. I don’t have to prepare myself mentally or physically. It just happens and is something I enjoy. Of course, foreplay and arousal is important, and needs to happen to be comfortable, but the mental block is no longer there and that is a great feeling.

I dislike tampons still and I do not use them. I am able to use them but prefer pads. I mainly want to point this out because I use to have to remind myself that a lot of things that I correlated with having vaginismus are things that many women feel or experience.

Many women who have never had vaginismus dislike using tampons or do not use them for other personal reasons. Many women get nervous about vaginal exams. Many women have moments where sex (intercourse) is just not going to happen comfortably. There may be a lack of arousal, there may be fatigue, there may be hormonal issues that week, stress or distractions in that moment, etc. I want to remind anyone reading this that those things and other fears/anxieties are NORMAL.

I don’t visit this forum often and hadn’t been active on this forum since I first posted this. However, I often think of all of the women that are suffering and or are on the journey to healing. I hope this update helps to encourage anyone who reads it. I also want to remind anyone who does read it that your journey is your own. There is no timeline and there are no hard and fast rules. Any tiny success you have is just one step closer to being cured. Your definition of cured doesn’t have to be the same as someone else’s definition either. Your definition of cured can evolve. Good luck and have hope.

[recessivegenequeen]

Thanks so much for your post, Lulu – I think you’re so right. I had my botox procedure 3 years ago now and feel much the same way you do. I don’t have to dilate anymore and am able to have painless sex, but I also struggle with using tampons and will often forego them for pads. This used to stress me out more at the beginning when I wanted so badly to jump forward to feeling totally normal, but you’re right, plenty of “normal” women dislike tampons and pap smears. It’s helped to remember that my priority for handling my vaginismus was to be able to have sex and I achieved that. Nothing will ever be perfect and getting to be intimate with my partners is enough of a win for me.

[Leslie Turner, WHNP, CNM]

Lulu,
Yes, thanks so much for this inspiring update! I absolutely love that you wrote “your journey is your own.” These are very wise words, true of everything in life if we think about it! But I think it is very important for women dealing with vaginismus to read and to understand that. There isn’t a template that everyone with vaginismus ‘should’ aim to follow. And there’s no prescribed timeline.
Thanks again for popping in to share your story! It’s so helpful for women who are in the midst of their vaginismus journey to read about experiences such as yours and that of recessivegenequeen.

[Sks823]

Lulu,

I love that you came back with this amazing update and inspiring words of advice. Congratulations on your two boys. 🙂 🙂 🙂 It’s so encouraging to those going through vaginismus to read about your journey and it’s a brilliant point that some fears/anxieties that may last (like pap smears) are normal for even women who never had vaginismus.

Truly appreciate you coming back to the forum, as I know this was so so uplifting and inspiring for even me (who overcame vaginismus 3 years ago) to read – I can’t imagine how uplifting it’d be to someone at the beginning of their journey or looking to start their journey of overcoming vaginismus.

[Jennifer Dembo, LCSW]

Sks823 is absolutely right, Lulu – your story serves as great encouragement for everyone here. The mere fact that you continue to keep this community in mind years after healing speaks to how thoughtful you are. Thanks so much for checking in and allowing us to follow your story – it’s so helpful to us all.