Are anorgasmia and vaginismus linked?

[Dishaz]

I remember reading somewhere that lots of women who suffer from vaginismus, also have anorgasmia or at least serious difficulties reaching an orgasm. Is this correct? Are both linked in one way or another?

[kiadenmark]

Not really sure if there is a link, but this is what my therapist told me as well.

[kiala2021]

I think there is a study that shows a link, I’ll look it up.

[recessivegenequeen]

Hi Dishaz – I’d be interested to see a study too, I think I have heard before that there’s a proven link. But also if you think about it, just anecdotally I know that a lot of women with vaginismus often struggle to have orgasms for the simple reason that the pain, anxiety, feelings of shame, etc. that come with having vaginismus make it hard to relax or concentrate enough to experience orgasm. This isn’t always the case (even when my vaginismus was bad I could still have an orgasm from certain types of stimulation), but especially if your association with sexual contact from the beginning is pain, you’ll be less likely to have positive orgasmic experiences.

[kiala2021]

I’ve done some research.

A study called “Female Sexual Dysfunction: Therapeutic Options and Experimental Challenges” states that 40% of women experience sexual dysfunction, and about 70% of that group has difficulties in achieving an orgasm – most of them never get one. The study states the same reasons as @recessivegenequeen: when sex hurts, you are less likly to have a positive attitude towards sexuality and this makes you less motivated to have orgasms.

By the way, women in *general* often have a hard time reaching a climax. Only 6 percent of women always have an orgasm during sex with a partner (I found this in a study called “Determinants of female sexual orgasms”). That is an astonishing low number!

What’s more: at the age of 24, about 30% of all women NEVER had an orgasm. “In general women masturbate less frequently and start at a later age” when compared to men. (source: National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior)

I think it’s fair to say women still have a long way to go when it comes to orgasms.

[recessivegenequeen]

Thanks so much for sharing that research, kiala2021! I think a lot of women have experienced this in some form anecdotally – especially that very few women frequently orgasm from penetrative sex alone. It’s sort of common sense when you think about the anatomy of our genitals – most women need clitoral stimulation to reach full orgasm, and the clitoris is on the OUTSIDE of the vaginal canal. When sexual encounters are designed around what makes men orgasm, women often don’t get the stimulation they require to get there – and that’s not even considering the other issues we’ve brought up, like that the presence of pain makes it harder to relax enough to have an orgasm.
There’s definitely a LOT of way to go before women get the same sexual gratification men have come to expect, and it will take a lot of education and societal change to get there.

[sammy2021]

When sex hurts, it has an impact on your libido and self confidence. I had 0 interest in discovering how I could bring myself to an orgasm, simply because sex meant pain and not pleasure. Weird but that’s how I think it goes for most patients. I’m in my twenties now and I feel like I’ve barely begun doing what I should have done as a teen. I’m not too ashamed to admit I never had an orgasm in my entire life.

[recessivegenequeen]

That’s very understandable sammy2021, we see that all the time with people who deal with pain around sex – it’s the most natural thing in the world to ask yourself why you’d bother engaging with the sexual side of yourself when it’s largely linked to misery. Having orgasms can feel great but also can be a lot of work and stress. Women sometimes have to decide how and when to explore that for themselves; it’s your decision and isn’t something you have to be doing if the time isn’t right!