Hi all. I’ve placed this new topic in the Vaginismus Post-Procedure category as it involves helpful tips on relationship building following vaginismus treatment. However, it may also be useful for those working through treatment or considering it and for everyone involved in a relationship. A while back, I subscribed to Mirror of Intimacy and receive weekly meditations from the book: “”Mirror of Intimacy: Daily Reflections on Emotional and Erotic Intelligence”. I have found these extremely helpful in my own marriage post vaginismus.
Their website: http://centerforhealthysex.com/sex-therapy-resources/daily-meditation
Today’s topic involves the subject of Caressing:
“Think of a warm, summer breeze caressing your body, and the softness you’re left with as it passes over you. This caress feels like the unrestrained affection we are called to bestow on one another when in love. Caresses aren’t just simple hugs, but moments of lushness and calm that can be demonstrated in small gestures or tokens of fondness for another.
A caress received upon reuniting with your partner after a long day at work may be just the medicine you need to feel more deeply connected. Simply rubbing your partner’s shoulders can lead to gentle kissing of the neck, ears and lips, becoming a communication all of its own. Other times you and your lover may encounter each other intensely by looking into each others eyes, and feel each open to the other. This deliberate little act can move an exhausted body into a state of vitality, gratitude, and even joy.
Without affection in the form of touch, patting, and stroking, an infant will fail to thrive and may even die. This need persists in adulthood, since caresses remain an essential form of communication between one nervous system and another. When you are upset or need comfort, the quickest way to calm down is for someone who cares about you to touch you gently. If you were touch-deprived as a child, emotionally closing off may be your default mode. If so, start slowly by caressing your partner and asking for caresses. This delicate form of touch will teach you the importance of being responsible for what you want and need, and exactly how to communicate it.”
