Celebrating the steps along the way

Home Forums Vaginismus Support Group Vaginismus Post-Procedure Celebrating the steps along the way

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    Hi all. In a recent post, a forum member wrote:

    “Celebrating even the smallest of victories will help chip away at all of the things ingrained in your brain over the years.”

    And recently, another forum member shared her success with inserting tampons for the first time which is absolutely awesome.

    While going through dilating post-procedure and the journey of overcoming, my hubby and I found it to be so important to celebrate each step. We celebrated going up a size with each dilator, using tampons, having a successful ob/gyn appointment and finally being able to achieve intercourse. This helped so much and we had something to look forward to as we went through this together. Some things that we did to celebrate included going to a romantic dinner together at a favorite restaurant and taking a long weekend getaway together at a beautiful hotel.

    I think celebrating even the smallest steps along the way can also be very motivating as you work through treatment. What have you done to celebrate the steps along the way?

    mmHelen Leff, LCSW

    Vaginismus treatment can be frustrating and may bring up an array of unhappy feelings. That is why it is particularly important to celebrate the small victories along the way.


    My name is Carmen, and I thought I was alone in this. I’ve been in therapy for a month and have had some small results, but I did not know that Botox can help. This is very uncomfortable and I feel like my body is betraying itself.


    Hi Carmen and welcome to the forum. You are not alone as you will soon realize. Any positive result, although may seem small, is a step in the right direction.
    Botox has proven to be amazing for women who are suffering from Vaginismus. At Maze, we see first hand the extraordinary results of botox in helping our patients overcome vaginismus.


    Hi Carmen,
    Sorry you’re struggling…we totally get it. The road to finding resolution can be really lonely. hang in there!


    Hi Carmen! I just wanted to pop in and say hi because I have felt exactly how you’re feeling – like my body was betraying me and like I would never get better. I had a ton of anxiety and tried having sex several times, inserting things, and dilating, with no success. The incredible women at the Maze clinic rightly recommended that my vaginismus was severe enough that I should seriously consider doing the botox treatment, and I am so glad they did. My psychological issues and anxiety were severe enough that my progress without it probably would have been marginal at best, but botox unlocked my body in a way that allowed my brain and my vagina to finally communicate and come to a peaceful agreement with each other. I went from someone who couldn’t even stand to have anything inserted to having satisfying and regular sex with my boyfriend. I’m happy to answer any other questions you have about the botox treatment, but I can say with confidence that it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.


    Hi Carmen. I’m so sorry for your struggles with vaginismus. Please know that you aren’t alone in this at all. I think it’s wonderful that you joined the Forum and posted. I had vaginismus for all of my 20s and into my early 30s and did not know Botox was a treatment option until reading about it from another member in an online support group for ttcwithvag. I ended up literally studying everything there was to know about Botox and the procedure to treat vaginismus as the thought of the word “Botox” alone scared the heck out of me. I drove to NH and met with Dr. Pacik and his staff and asked a bazillion million questions. I then returned with my husband and had the Botox treatment program. I truly believe that this is the only thing that would’ve worked for me personally to cure my vaginismus. I never could insert a thing pre-procedure (i.e. dilators, gyn exam, hubby’s fingers/penis) without burning pain, anxiety response, shutting down. My husband always said it felt like a wall of resistance whenever we tried to insert anything. Following my Botox procedure, this wall dissipated for the very first time and I was finally able to insert the dilators in and, 2 weeks later, my husband. Like Dr. P, the Maze team, also know everything about vaginismus, the Botox treatment program and what one goes through while having vaginismus (both physically and also emotionally) and so importantly, they CARE. There are so many doctors out there who honestly don’t even know what the condition is and so many say “just relax”. If it were only that easy. If you haven’t, I would encourage you to reach out to Maze and work with them in any way possible. Also, please continue to post and know that we are here to support you and you are never alone in this. Sending you support today.


    How soon after the botox injections did it really help? It’s been 5 days and there is still pain that has even gotten worse.


    Hi DarRas – is the pain while you’re trying to insert a dilator or just general pain around the vagina? Either way, if you got the botox treatment from the Maze clinic I’d give them a call and try describing your symptoms. Dilating will still be uncomfortable for awhile after the treatment because of your muscles stretching to accommodate new objects (though shouldn’t be PAINFUL in a stinging way, so if it is, that’s greater cause for checking with a doctor to make sure all is well).

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