Day 14 Post Procedure and yes….Success!!!!

[Nakitalab]

I am so excited to report that my husband and I just made love for the first time pain free and with no lidocaine! We even tried three new positions, which is huge for me because I have only been comfortable with one and one only because of the intense pain and my trust issues! I still can’t believe it and keep asking my husband did it really happen? He could only thrust lightly for a little while and then we stopped because I was starting to get sore. But hey….we couldn’t be any happier! This is such a huge blessing! Thank you Dr. Pacik, Janet, Ellen, Tracey, Jenn, Allie, Heather34 and all the women on the Forum that have been so supportive. I still have a lot of work to do, continue dilating consistently, watch the sensate videos with my hubbie and learn from all of you who post on the Forum. I do have a question if anyone would be willing to share….what position (s) do you find the most comfortable?

[Allie]

WOO-HOO!!! 🙂

[Janet Pacik]

I know that Dr. Pacik and others will chime in on the positions as this has come up many times. But for now I just want to say CONGRATULATIONS! I couldn’t be happier for you!!!! Only two weeks post-treatment! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

[Nakitalab]

Thanks, Janet. I’m still amazed and pinching myself. I truly never thought this was possible for me.

[Heather34]

HUGE CONGRATS Nakita! This is wonderful, wonderful news!!!

[Dr. Pacik]

There are not enough words to describe how happy I am for you! After 34 years of struggling, you conquered! (in only two weeks!!) It only gets easier (and more fun) now. More on positions later.

[Nicole29]

Congratulations!!! I’m soo happy for you!!!

[coffee]

congrats.

[lsmith]

That is the best news ever Nakita!!!! It truely is a miracle is’nt it? I also suffered for many, many years with vaginismus. My husband and I feel like since the procedure has been done, we have a new lease on life!!!!! So many exciting and new things to explore:) Congratulations again!!! Keep up with the dilating!!!!
Lisa (Dilating Diva)

[Nakitalab]

Thank you Nicole, Coffee and Lisa. It just seems to good to be true and unfortunately I have been too afraid to try it again. Afraid of failing. 🙁 But I have gotten a little better letting my hubby help me dilate. Although it doesn’t happen very often because I’m not very comfortable with it. I sure wish I could get my libido back. It would definitely help things progress faster I think.

[Nakitalab]

Lisa, did you receive my e-mail that I sent a couple of weeks ago? I have so many questions about being a busy Mom and dilating, finding time for intimacy.

[Heather34]

Hi Nakita. I’m so, so proud of you and your tremendous success. In your post, you wrote “I sure wish I could get my libido back…It would definitely help things progress faster I think.” Post-procedure, it is so, so common to have libido issues and I think this prior thread could be very, very helpful for you.

Patient Question:
“I feel that lately I don’t get as turned on as I used to and don’t have the desire for any sexual stimulation…”

Reply post from Darcy Donahue:
“This is a very common question that I hear from many of my patients. Once the painful penetration has been overcome there is a joy and elation that intercourse has finally become successful. However, the newness of this experience wears off once sex with your partner is “just another moving dilator.” What I mean by that is that sex is much, much more than just penis-in-the-vagina. Intimacy, close contact, sharing of very close and personal parts of ourselves are not something that can be overcome easily. Pleasure and satisfaction drive human behavior to seek out this activity again to find more pleasure and satisfaction. If physical pleasure is missing, it makes the experience less exciting, and less likely to be a behavior we look forward to or to actively seek out. Your description of your preparation for sex is very clinical. With almost 2 hours to “prepare your vagina” you are focusing on only one aspect of what it takes the female body to be ready for sex. I am a huge fan of bottled lubricant. There is nothing better for a woman than good, wet, slippery surfaces. However, there is a lot more to being sexually ready than being wet and having a vaginal opening that is dilated and non-spasming. Foreplay is an essential part of being ready emotionally as well as physically for sex. Your dilator may be able to help you relax the vaginal opening, but stimulation to your skin (arms, lips, legs, breasts, thighs, clitoris, behind-the-ear, etc.) help to build anticipation and arousal. It is during the arousal phase of the sexual response cycle that the vagina elongates and the pelvic organs pull up into the belly, making more room for deeper penetration (which could explain why your boyfriends thrusting is painful). It is also during this phase that blood flows to the vulva, making the area swell and become protective to the bony areas of your pelvis. The walls of the vagina also stretch and relax, also making penetration easier. By the way, the ‘numb’ feelings deeper in the vagina past the opening is normal. There are not a lot of nerve endings deeper in the vagina, its Mother Natures way of making childbirth a bit more tolerable. In addition to the physical changes in our bodies during arousal, our brains begin to release a tremendous amount of hormones and neurochemicals that create feelings of wellbeing. Orgasm is just icing on the cake after that, but can also add to the experience.

Female on top position is a great way to gain back a sense of power. You have control of the depth of penetration, speed of thrust, and the ability to pull out immediately without feeling like you are being trapped underneath your partner. However, unless you are laying out flat against his chest, it is very difficult to have any direct stimulation from his penis. However, if you sit up in this position, it is easy to have self stimulation with your hand, his hand, or a vibrator during sexual penetration. Only 30% of women (with no history of sexual disfunction) are able to have an orgasm without some type of clitoral stimulation. That means 70% of us need some kind of direct stimulation to the clitoris to have enjoyment during sex. Why is all this detail important? Well, intimacy often requires the ability to “lose ourselves” in our partners. Not to just “carry out intercourse to pleasure my boyfriend.”

Many of the people that I counsel have to go back to the beginning in many ways. Learning how to explore each others bodies, and to play, become a vital part of learning how to become sexual. Practicing sexual touch during your daily or weekly dilating exercises, can help to break the cycle. Use a much smaller dilator while stimulating (or having your boyfriend stimulate) your clitoris. This will help you adjust to the feeling of the dilator in your vagina, without feeling overwhelmingly full. Learning how your body reacts with touch for pleasure, not just to dilate, is a very important exercise. Now that you have been able to overcome the barrier of the physical vaginismus block, working with yourself and your partner to overcome the emotional barrier of pleasure is the next step.”

[coffee]

Great information!! 🙂 Did anyone have soreness with #6 dilator or cramping afterwards, i am starting physical therapy back as well has anyone did physical therapy after procedure. Also i want to try intercourse when i get comfy with 6 dilator. Any suggestions? Also for the soreness as well.

[K Howard]

Heather: Thank you so much for posting the information from Darcy! I can totally relate to the information that she talks about. I find myself now trying to catch up my emotional parts to the physical. Trying to start over at the very beginning and learn/explore myself and my husband and try to enjoy things along the way instead of it being so clinical (area where I struggle). I really liked the part where Darcy says:

“With almost 2 hours to “prepare your vagina” you are focusing on only one aspect of what it takes the female body to be ready for sex. I am a huge fan of bottled lubricant. There is nothing better for a woman than good, wet, slippery surfaces. However, there is a lot more to being sexually ready than being wet and having a vaginal opening that is dilated and non-spasming.”

Coffee: I experienced soreness when I first started with #6 (about 3 weeks post procedure – I had the procedure on 8/13/12) but over time, it got better just with being consistent with it. There were times, though that unless I just completely couldn’t tolerate it, I stuck it out and was able to keep it in longer each time. Now, I usually keep it in for an hour (sometimes longer if I forget and the time passes lol).

Also, I started physical therapy the week after I had the procedure and have been going once a week since then. I was so terrified as I had never done PT before and didn’t know what to expect but thankfully I was referred (by my GYN) to a wonderful therapist and the office specializes in pelvic pain. The biggest thing that has helped me is just being up front and communicating with the therapist if/when I feel discomfort. I recently switched physical therapists (the one I was seeing no longer works there) and she mainly works with internal stretching during the appointments. We have moved to 75% of two finger insertion last week and hoping for 100% this week. I was a bit disappointed initially when she first tried and it just didn’t work out – it was like my body was fighting against me. She explained however, that although I’ve progressed very well with the dilators, two fingers is a different feel and texture when inserted and my body has to get used to that as well. I really like the fact that she wants me not only to do well with dilators but also with other aspects, similar to what Darcy’s response discussed. The therapy has really helped me a lot and I feel was a really good decision for me. I hope that all goes well with you. If you have any questions about the PT, please let me know!