Difficulty Dilating with the Last Dilator(From Pakistan)

[recessivegenequeen]

Hi Persevere – redrose’s advice is great here! I want to second the point that you should DEFINITELY keep dilating even during your period, even though it’s messy. As long as you’re not having especially strong pain with insertion while menstruating, your dilation will be most successful if you keep up the daily routine. Taking several days between dilation sessions can definitely cause your vagina to “unlearn” to an extent some of the progress you’ve made with dilators.

Setbacks in general, whether around your period or not, are SUPER normal in vaginismus treatment. But you know your body is capable of getting to that larger size, so be patient with yourself and work your way back up like you did before, and stick with it through your period.

Also the burning sensation you’re feeling during dilation is totally normal and in fact is what you’re SUPPOSED to be feeling. It’s the feeling of your muscles stretching and becoming more used to penetration! Have you ever taken up a new exercise routine and woken up the next day to feel soreness in your arms and legs? This sensation in your vagina is similar – it’s learning to move in a new way it isn’t normally asked to, so you’re feeling the sensation of adjustment. This means the dilation is working!

[ds20030]

Redrose has definitely given some good advice here, indeed.

My periods are very, very heavy, but my therapist told me I still had to continue dilating during those days because of possible setbacks. I put a towel under my butt and took a shower afterwards.

I also agree with the advice about orgasms. Sexual excitement makes the vaginal walls less tight, but orgasms do the reverse and tend to tighten the muscles, even for several hours. That’s why masturbation and dilation are a good combination, as long as you don’t have an orgasm. I stopped having them altogether during my therapy and that did wonders. When I’m having sex now I need to take care I always finish after my husband cause my vaginismus seems to kick in again after I got one.

[Persevere]

Hey Everyone! You’d be happy to hear that I have finally been able to have successful intercourse. I just posted my story in the Success Stories discussion. I want to thank all the people on this forum whose discussions have been a huge source of support for me especially @Mazemelissa, @Recessivegenequeen and @Heather. If I am at this point today, it is only because of your support and discussion on this forum. I cannot tell you how glad and happy I am. When it happened, I could not even believe it for some time. I finally feel like a normal person. Vaginismus took a huge toll on my self-confidence because it made me feel like I could not do something that everyone else could do and also because of the lack of awareness on this subject. Many doctors themselves are not aware of it and it made me think what the hell is wrong with me. Nobody understood me except for the people on this forum. I also had this huge fear that if this condition is not treated, my husband would leave me. There were people in my family who even doubted my mental condition because of it. I had to hear so many taunts because of this condition. My studies were also affected but after curing it, I got my self-confidence back and I feel like I am invincible because if I got out of this alone, then I can do anything. To all those girls who are fighting vaginismus, you can do it too. Just keep persevering and you’ll get your reward and if you ever worry like me that people in your life will leave you because of vaginismus, then remember that only those people who support us during our difficult times are worthy of staying with us in our good times. Rest of them don’t matter. Stay strong and more power to all the vaginismus warriors out there!

[recessivegenequeen]

Persevere, congratulations!!!! This is amazing news and I am so happy you have lived up to your forum name. What you’ve described is the same thing I experienced about curing my vaginismus. While it felt great to be able to finally have intercourse, the really amazing part was that I finally felt free of the shame that had haunted me for so many years. I’m so glad you feel normal, strong, and empowered – you’re totally right that this experience anchors you in your own strength and is a reminder of how you can put in hard work to accomplish something that once felt impossible. Thanks so much for letting us join you on your journey and I hope that you continue to have a great sex life!

[precious angel]

Sis from where you buy dilators? I am also from pakistan and no body is understanding my situation.. i am so upset and want to save my marriage life. plz help me

[Persevere]

@preciousangel I am extremely sorry for this late reply. Got caught up with some things in life. Dilators are not available in Pakistan. I tried checking websites like Daraz etc. but they didn’t have them either, even Amazon was out of stock. However, in Shifa International Hospital, Islamabad there is a physical therapist who understands vaginismus and treats it with dilators. Moreover, they can also help you buy dilators because they import it from Dubai and can bring one set for you too. It is around 15000 PKR. You can check with them. If you need contact number, I can provide it to you too.
In my case, I could not get dilators from anywhere because of so many issues. So I made my own dilators. It sounds weird but I had to do something. I used different cosmetics bottles of different sizes which were round to dilate. You could use such technique too. Start from a smaller size and then go your way up but remember hygeine is very important so always wash the dilators with lukewarm water and antibacterial soap before and after every use.
If you read this msg, do tell me how you are doing right now. I’d be happy to assist you in your journey. Best of Luck!

[anonymous_user12]

@Persevere can you please share the number of doctor who treats Vaginismus at Shifa International Hospital using dilators? I am from Islamabad and my wife has the same issue. We really need to get that fixed ASAP!

Looking forward to hearing from you.

[Persevere]

Yeah sure! I don’t think she works at Shifa anymore. She’s got a clinic some where else I think. I’ll share her insta profile https://www.instagram.com/dr.mahnoor.ch.pt?igsh=MWF4NGJqYzQ5cGJndg==

You can contact her there. I’ll also leave her a msg asking about her clinic.

Please let me know if your wife has any other questions. I may not always reply here in case I don’t get notifications so here’s my email strongwomen1702@gmail.com

[Vee0706]

@persevere Even I am struggling with the last dialator. Can you share some tips for dialator and then for intercourse.

[Persevere]

@Vee0706 Please use a dilator that’s less wide than the current size you’re using but wider than the previous one. This way you’ll be able to easily insert the dilator.

I know that during treatment it’s natural to rush. We want to achieve the end goal, but it’s important to take small steps. Listen to your body. If it’s not accepting this dilator, go a size lower.

Once you can comfortably dilate, only then move on to intercourse. If you were able to dilate without pain, then there’s nothing to worry about.

Let me know if you have any further questions. All the best!

[Persevere]

@Vee0706 Forgot to add this to the previous reply:

Once you’re able to dilate without pain, then there’s nothing to worry about intercourse. Trust me

[Patience]

Preserve, I read through the forum and realised it was back in 2021. Your story is very similar to mine except I’ve been married 6 years and only discovered that I had vaginismus in the 5th year. Curious to know how you are ? Have you managed to overcome your vaginismus

[Patience]

Oh never mind I didn’t realise there was a next page haha. Congratulations on overcoming it. Have you ever needed to dilate again and are their times when sex is painful now that you’re able to have penetration sex

[Persevere]

@Patience
I’m sorry for the late reply.

Thank you. If you’re having intercourse regularly like without big breaks in between, then you don’t need to dilate anymore, but if let’s say for any reason, months go by without, then you have to. Otherwise muscles become tense again.

Please let me know if you have any other questions

[Vee0706]

I am happy to announce that I healed from vaginismus after suffering from the past 3 years. Thanks to everyone at Maze who helped with my queries.