Dilating After Pain Free intercourse

[Nicole Tammelleo, MA, LCSW]

I recently heard from a patient I had not seen in months. When she first came to MAZE ,she had little hope that she would ever be able to use a tampon, never mind intercourse. Well, like many of the success stories on this forum, after about 4 months she went from the smallest dilator all the way to the extra-large with NO pain. She had pain free intercourse with her partner and was thrilled, and for the next 4 months all was great. However, life can throw a wrench your way. Her partner went away on a 3 week business trip, and since she had been having pain free sex for months she thought dilation was a thing of the past, and went the 3 weeks with no intercourse or dilation. Excited to see her partner upon his return they attempted intercourse, and she had some pretty bad pain and was not able to enjoy it. She was distraught and thought she was back to square one. Of course she was not back at square one, but this did make her realize that if she is not having intercourse she does need to go back to dilating several times a week. She was able to go back to the large dilator, then extra large and within a week she had pain free intercourse again. While I understand that once pain free intercourse is achieved it might seem tempting to ditch the dilators, but it is best to save them. Everyone’s body is different. Some women may be able to go weeks with no intercourse and no dilation and be just fine. However, to be on the safe side, it is best to dilate a few times a week if you are not having intercourse on a weekly basis. This patient found a great alternative to a dilator and bought a vibrator (she uses internally) that is about the same size as the extra large dilator, and now she finds herself using the vibrator several times a week even when she is having intercourse.

[mazemelissa]

Thanks for that great post Nicole. I recommend that when a patient reaches the maintenance stage of dilation, they have penetration at least three times a week, this can include intercourse or dilation. Some women find that dilation in the shower can be a great way to continue to incorporate regular dilation sessions, but it doesn’t take up too much of their time. Some type of regular penetration is very important to keep the vaginal muscles in a relaxed state. This can vary for patients, but usually three times a week seems to be a good schedule for most patients.

[Heather34]

This is an awesome post Nicole! I continued my dilating schedule for a full year following my Botox procedure. Then, whenever I needed to take a lengthy break from dilating, I always found that it helped so, so much to start up dilating again prior to intercourse. I love, love, love what you said about the vibrator. This is what my husband and I have used in place of dilators and, for us, it helped to remove the clinical aspect of dilating and to really help with a more spontaneous intercourse.