Dilating Drama

[23years]

I haven’t yet posted my whole story yet but I’m four days post procedure and things have been going “ok” with dilation until tonight. While dilating with glass #5, I was about an hour into it and decided to try Kegels. Then, it felt like my muscle spasm’ed and after it relaxed, it suddenly felt like someone had nicked me with a tiny blade all over the inside of my vagina, I’m assuming what I’m feeling is the muscle and perhaps the injection sites? Or the stretching/burning of the muscle?

At any rate, I did allow myself a small pity party and did honestly feel discouraged. I was thinking to myself, “Some women go onto have sex 7 days post procedure?” If my burning/stabbing/stinging is what I have to look forward to, then sex will be the last thing on my mind at 7 days post op!!

I do feel like things will get better in time and my muscle needs to heal from the obvious insults its receiving. I also think that the Botox hasn’t even kicked in yet and hopefully this will relax the muscle more and allow me a stretch without the spasm or I’m in deep trouble~

Here’s to dilation drama!

[Dr. Pacik]

All bets are off!
It is much too early to draw any conclusions regarding the outcome of treatment. 7 days may seem like an eternity to some, but it really is only the beginning. I have no doubt that you will be successful, even after struggling with secondary vaginismus for 23 years. You were able to dilate to #6 during the counseling session. There is always some regression after patients return home, and it is typical to be concerned about this, even though I spend time discussing this. The trick is to continue with the dilation program as discussed, keep me informed and know that it is just a question of time before you get comfortable. I am thrilled with the progress you have made.

23 years brings up an important problem post procedure that many women encounter. What were the experiences of our other dilating divas?

[23years]

I have faith Dr Pacik!! After 23 years, I won’t let this small bobble kick me down! No sir!

We are warriors! All of us!! Believe that ladies!! I will keep on “keeping on”. My desire to overcome this once and for all is too strong! I will think only positive thoughts! The “V” must not win!

I just thought it best to he forthright and open so others won’t feel alone and isolated… Or different and like a freak thru this process. After all, we’ve all suffered one day too many right? Even one day of the big “V” is one day too many! I don’t care if you are 23 minutes, 23 hours, 23 days, 23 months or 23 years like me! It’s one day too many…

Smile! And let’s all kick the big “V”‘s buttocks!

[Hanna]

Hi there, I am just over 4 weeks post procedure at the moment. I had quite some pain while dilating on days 3-5 post procedure. For me the pain wasn’t during the insertion, but it was while they were in. We holidayed in NY after the procedure, and I just remember coming out of the bathroom after inserting, walking all funny from the discomfort. Every part of my being just wanted to rip that dilator out – but instead I spent the first 15 mins kneeling on the floor of the hotel with my forehead resting on the bed, just concentrating on my breathing. Thereafter I watched a TV show to keep my mind off the discomfort. For me, I definitely found the first 15 mins with each dilator during those few days the hardest part, so if I could distract myself with something it was a lot easier. I also remember telling my husband from my position on the hotel floor “The ladies on the forum said there could be bad days – this must just be one of those, so it will pass”. Those experiences I had read really helped me to focus on the big picture, and not the temporary pain I was experiencing. And it did pass too. Now I am dilating with very little discomfort. I am over the moon with my progress so far, I have to pinch myself everyday – I can’t believe I am doing this!

[23years]

Hi Hanna

Yes the pain for me is also more “inside” at the point of the muscle. It’s a burning type pain. The insertion is not so bad and it’s after it’s been there. I’m thinking this is what everyone is speaking about when they talk about “stretching” of a muscle. I will take your experience as positive news that the muscle becomes more relaxed and stretched as time goes on…

[Hanna]

Hi 23years,

Yes, it was a burning type of pain for me too. At first I thought it was just because there was so much activity down there now, but then I realised I could feel the stretching sensation too. It really only lasted a couple of days, and in week 2 I felt it a couple more times but no where near the same level.

To any other ladies reading this that are about to start, or have just started, their dilating journey, there are a couple of things to note from my experience as I would hate to think that discussing pain while dilating would put anyone off from going through with this procedure: –

1) It was nothing I couldn’t handle! I pushed my body to the limit I knew it could go to. It was only temporary discomfort, it progressively got better, – and quite quickly too.

2) Have something ready to be a distraction for you. We had loaded some TV shows that I like onto our laptop, so I could lay on the bed in the hotel while dilating and get lost in TV land. It totally helped take my mind off any pain.

3) I had read that it was good to take Ibuprofen to keep on top of any pain for those first few days. I kept forgetting to do this, and so would take it once I had already started feeling pain! It probably would have made a difference if I had taken a dose a bit before dilating.

4) I got my period 6 days post procedure and I definitely felt a difference the day before – it was a different kind of tenderness.

5) I also had a little extra surgery – my hymenal band had to be snipped as it was very tight, so that may have contributed to the discomfort.

6) Most importantly – It never got me down! Even during dilation on day 3, which was the worst for me, I was sooooo happy! It is impossible to put into words that overwhelming feeling of elation, I was doing something that I never thought I would be able to do, and nothing was going to get me down! It gets so much easier too, now it is so comfortable that I often forget that I am dilating……

[23years]

Hanna,

I am seven days today and I hope I’m not making this up but it’s today that the Botox is supposed to kick in. I was not able to dilate this morning my first day back to work, so tonight I dilated, with snug bike shorts, wearing Pacik Glass #5 and I actually went over the 2 hours and it didn’t hurt at all. I know that this can vary from day to day but this was the first day I just didn’t feel the burning. I did load up on Ibuprofen which could have helped.

Unlike others, my V wasn’t primary and I have, over the past 23 years, been able to tolerate penetration to some degree and use of tampons. So my feelings aren’t elation yet a cautious curiosity. I’m also an intellectual so I tend to “read into things”, “investigate” and “take notes” and I’m not quick to jump on the positive bandwagon, until I’m sure. Some may say its a pessimistic stance but I tend to be a realist. I DO feel, for entirely intellectual as well as spiritual faith that this process is going to work for me.

I believe in life that we are all meant to be exactly where we are in life for exactly the right reasons at the time. That might not make sense to some but I believe I found Dr Pacik when I did because I was open to it. I also believe that more road blocks would have presented themselves had I not been supposed to walk this road. I can tell you that I am SO glad I was brave enough to come out of my comfort zone and do something to help myself and trust in that gut instinct.

I also would not want anyone to be discouraged by the thought of discomfort because “no pain no gain” but I also agree with Hanna, it’s def not something “I” personally would not be able to handle. Every person is diff and others will need other medical intervention besides just the Botox. But none of it should prevent anyone from taking the step toward their ultimate goal of “overcoming”. In the end, we all will be stronger women and fact is, we already are!! Believe~

[KatieG07]

Hanna

From my experience do not go over the 2 hrs I did and stressed my body out bad! Once I got on a 2 hr a nighy schedule it was better.

Katie

[klove]

Yes, the burning sensation is because your stretching a muscle that hasn’t been touched ever. I know Dr. Pacik went over that in our counseling session. Also, I regressed few times and I think the hardest part of my journey is my emotional well being. Since we have been home, I have been more emotional, cranky, and very moody. I believe it is because part of me does not want this to be successful. I cant explain on how I made this observation. But, this has been the hardest 18 days of my life since I am 18 days post procedure. I started to give up a couple of times, but I kept at it. No matter what I was feeling, I dilated. I was cramping really bad for a few days and I think that was because my inside was clinching the whole time. Which a fellow forum member brought that up. 🙂

There has been a lot of pain and soreness. But, you just have to remind yourself, that there will be day when this is over and that you can fight any obstacle. At this point in time, having a baby does not scare me anymore! I just went through the most horrific thing ever according to my mind.

Today, I was able to put the #6 glass in for a few seconds, but I ended up putting a vibrator in which was bigger and more comfortable. So, I feel I successfully made it to my next goal. 🙂 I have a target date for my next challenge for next Saturday to have intercourse. I want it to be special and not just here lets try it. I want it to be successful, which might include a drink on the side lol.

To sit here and write I got a vibrator completely in is surreal to say the least. I don’t know whether to cry or laugh right now. I feel for everyone on this forum and I know without your support it would have been more difficult to be where I am today. 🙂

Katie

[mayra]

I had the same experience for the first week or so the pain was definitely worse and different. I think it is definitely due to the needle insertion sites healing but after that it got easier although it is not completely pain free for me now (a month later) especially when I insert dilators 4 and up.

I just keep telling myself that I need to keep going so that soon there will be no pain. The more I work at it the less pain I have because my muscles are stretching out 🙂