Dont know where i stand…

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    Hi All,
    I can’t explain how much better i feel upon stumbling onto this site. Reading all your posts has definitely made me feel like i’m not the only one around with this problem. I have a few questions though.

    I’m 27 and i’ve been married for 2 years and a half now to a man i love very much. I had no previous sexual experience- I was a virgin before the wedding, so i sound more like a primary vaginismus case. During intercourse i’m in severe pain at the penetration level- that has led to less frequent sex between my husband and i because he hates seeing me in pain. Full penetration does occur though, but ends with me crying. I constantly feel like something inside me is being torn during penetration. In the beginning i used to attribute this pain to the breaking of my hymen, but its been nearly 3 years now and the pain has not gone away.

    So my question:

    I am slightly uncomfortable when i use tampons and go to my gyno, but there is not actual pain during those times. However with my husband, it is VERY painful. So could that possibly mean that he maybe too large for me? Since i’m not in pain when it comes to tampons or check ups etc?

    And if i’m coming for the treatment i’ll be coming from overseas, since the 8 DR’s i’ve been to in Egypt have told me my problem is all in my head, is there any need for my husband to come along with me other than for support? As in will he be involved in anything to do with the checkup/diagnosis?

    Appreciating your support and answers.

    All the Best,

    Dr. Pacik

    I feel this is an important post because it gives us insight into some penetration that is possible indicating that you have a good chance to be successful by using dilators correctly. I would suggest consulting with a physical therapist who specializes in pelvic floor disorders. There is also a Dr. A. Shafik and Dr. O. El-Sibai, in Cairo, who have published on the use of the Botox program for vaginismus with good success. We would value a follow up from you.
    Good luck!

    Once you start using dilators please use this link as a guide:


    Hi DGhalwash. Welcome to the Forum and thank you for your post. I am so, so sorry for your struggles with vaginismus. Please know that you have found an excellent place of support and you are not alone with this at all.

    I want to share information with you on working with vaginal dilators. I’ve used both the Pure Romance dilator set as well as the Pacik Glass ones and like them both. The Pure Romance ones are great because they’re a softer silicone material and have handles which makes them easier to insert and remove. They also have many, many different sizes. I also really like the Pacik Glass ones because they, too, have the handles and they are shorter in length so you don’t feel them as much and can do other things with them in. I want to share the link for the second issue of the VaginismusMD Newsletter that discusses all-things dilating. Specific topics include: Styles and Materials of Dilators, Getting Started with Dilation (includes information on ordering dilator set), Anxiety Control, Advanced Dilation Techniques, and Transitioning to Intercourse. I also used a combination of Lidocaine/Surgilube as a lubricant on the dilators. I liberally used this and it made beginning insertion much more doable.

    Ok, I hope all of this helps and again want you to know that I am sincerely here for you and send my support. Please follow-up and let me know how you are doing and write often as, again, it helps to feel less isolated and feel supported by others who either have gone through or currently are going through this.

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