Exciting News!!! :)

[Becca]

I just wanted to share on here that I am seven weeks pregnant!!! 🙂 🙂 We are so thrilled and excited and SO thankful to Dr. Pacik and all the staff for helping make this dream a reality!! 🙂 I have my first appointment on June 16th (10 weeks) and am anxiously awaiting it and praying that this will be a strong, healthy pregnancy. 🙂 When I called to make the appointment I spoke to the nurse at the Dr. office (all of the staff there know about my Vaginimsus) and I had her measure the vaginal wand that they will use for the ultrasound. It measures to be roughly the same size as the #4 dilator, which is a great relief to me because I can normally get the #4 in very easily now.

I did want to mention some struggles that we have been having — maybe there are some women who could offer advice or suggestions! So, we have only been able to have real sex (thrusting and ejaculation) one time because it has been so painful and uncomfortable for me. Before getting pregnant I realized that the week before my period until the couple days after my period my vagina would be very dry, sensitive and irritated. It was very hard to use the dilators or attempt penis insertion in that time frame because it was almost unbearable. The two weeks after my period was over were perfect and that was when we were able to have the pain free real sex the first time. Since becoming pregnant I have noticed that my vagina is just stuck feeling dry and painful (like it would right before my period) and I have been having a hard time again with my dilators and inserting my husband. We have not even tried to insert him in more than a couple weeks because of the pain and discomfort, and also due to my feeling sick to my stomach 24/7 from the pregnancy. I would love to hear from any women on the forums who have been pregnant since treatment and know if they have dealt with any of this? Or from any other patients who just experience vaginal dryness or any of that? We had been using the pre-seed lube because we noticed since it was directly inserted into my vagina it seemed to help some, but still didn’t make it pain free by any means. I also just wanted to add, I hope that no one will think I am complaining in any way about the pregnancy (I promise, I’m not!) I just am stating our current situation and what our problems have been with attempting intercourse. I appreciate any advice! 🙂

Again, we are SO THANKFUL to Dr. Pacik and ALL of the amazing staff! We thank God for you everyday and the amazing work you are doing!! 🙂

[Dr. Pacik]

Congratulations. I am thrilled to hear this.
Excessive dryness can be due to the Botox injections, and one other patient complained about excessive dryness. This will return to normal after about four months. Using lubes is important and trying different lubes like oils (coconut or olive for example) or something heavier like cocoa or Shea butter can also help.
Once the heavier lubes have been inserted, a water based lube like Slippery stuff can also be applied.

Please let us know how you are doing over time. I look forward to comments from the others.

[KatieG07]

Congratulations!!!! There us hope for all of us 🙂

[kelseroo]

I’m so happy for you becca! Isn’t it amazing how quickly things change for the better after getting the procedure? I feel like it was just days ago that you and I were commenting on the forum awaiting our procedure dates, and now you are pregnant with your first child and I can have pain free intercourse with my husband! I can’t wait to hear more about your success:-)

[Becca]

Hey everyone! Sorry I have disappeared the last few months! I had a really hard time with severe morning sickness and exhaustion all of the first trimester, but am finally feeling better now. 🙂 I also wanted to update and say that all the vaginal pain I was experiencing was from a UTI I didn’t know I had!! Which makes me feel better! Once I got on the antibiotics for my UTI my vaginal pain cleared right up too! 🙂

Another thing I thought I would mention, at my first appointment at 10 weeks (which was a little less than 4 months post procedure), I was able to tolerate the Dr inserting a qtip (to check for infections), her two fingers (so she could feel my uterus) as well as the vaginal ultrasound wand (which is comparable in size to the #4 dilator, just much longer). It was painful and my legs were shaking like CRAZY but I was able to do it. It was a HUGE milestone for me, emotionally. I was a crying wreck. 🙂 Even when you know things can be inserted at home, and we were successfully able to have sex it is just an entirely different situation to be at the Dr office where all of my anxiety was the worst before, and to successfully achieve something I could never do before. I just want to say THANK YOU so much to Dr. Pacik and all his staff, seriously, you guys are changing SO many lives for the better. I thank God for you all everyday, that you have allowed me to experience this gift of life growing inside of me that I thought I might never have.

And to all the other girls reading this, I hope this encourages you to know that this can be possible for you too. To have sex with your husband, successful Dr exams and even possibly carrying a child. Life changes SO much after having this procedure and it is all for the better. Coming to NH and having this procedure done was the best decision we have ever made!

[23years]

Congratulations!!! That is so awesome!!! I’m happy for you as a couple!

I wanted to share something personal of a diff nature but might be similar to what I and you and others experience despite having positive experiences with insertion, dilation, etc.

When my daughter was diagnosed with a severe anxiety disorder called “Selective Mutism” we learned a lot about her triggers and how she reacted in diff environments. Selective Mutism causes such severe anxiety, a child is unable to speak in certain social situations, even if they want to speak. They simply can’t.

As we progressed with her therapies, we discovered that diff people and diff environments can become “contaminated”. I know when talking about the big “V” calling something contaminated probably isn’t good (chuckle) but the point I’m making is that we learn to associate diff things, smells, environments, people, etc with diff experiences. If those experiences are painful or cause anxiety, it would only make sense that we be conditioned to respond in a certain way. I’m wondering if this is similar.

For me, even though I am “better” physically, I still feel like “that girl with vaginismus”. I mean really, it was my identity for 23 years right? I couldn’t escape it. It was with me like the elephant in the closet every day. So being that my surgery was only on June 30th, I just feel its going to take a lot of time to “decontaminate” myself from the negative associations. Perhaps that’s true for all of us at some level or degree?

I have no other personal experiences post surgery at this time to relate this to what you’ve said but I definitely would use lube. Your hormones will be all over the place, your body will be going through changes due to pregnancy.

I hope nobody takes THIS the wrong way but on a positive note, now that we’ve learned to form intimacy with our partners in other ways due to the big “V” them when you go thru your pregnancy, get bigger, have the baby, recover, go thru sleepless nights wanting to focus more on sleep than anything else, the big “V” will have taught us the ways to get thru this time better as a couple (maybe? Smile)…

I wish you the best of luck thru this pregnancy and beyond! You are blessed!

[Becca]

I agree with you so much, 23 years! I had my procedure in February of this year, and now am even four months pregnant (which is still so unreal) and I still feel like that broken girl inside. Dr. Pacik has told me it takes a long time for your emotional state to catch up to your physical state and I have definitely found that to be true. When something has been such a huge part of who you are (whether you like it or not!) for so many years, it will definitely take some time to heal and change the way I think. Emotional healing is the hardest part of this whole thing.

I agree that that is why I had such a hard time at the doctor office because all I had to base things on were my previous visits that were HORRIBLE, painful, embarrassing, and ridden with anxiety and stress. When we were waiting in the lobby to get called back I was a nervous wreck because I was so worried about what if I couldn’t handle the vaginal ultrasound? Even though in my mind I KNEW my body was now capable of this, your anxiety and emotions from the past just want to drag you back. Overcoming Vaginismus is a long journey, but incredibly worth it too. 🙂

[23years]

You just made me cry. This post touched me so much. Dr Pacik is a savior for us. So his name in the context of how you were able to become pregnant because of him, all the emotions, the fact that Dr P DOES get it! He does! Even when “we” doubt ourselves, Dr Pacik never wavers and thank God for him. We are so blessed!

That being said, these emotions are raw. They really really are our identity and you know what? It sucks! Plain and simple. But you know what else?

WE are courageous! We are strong! We ARE victorious!

WE have NOT let others stop us from moving forward! Taking control of our medical and psychosocial health! We have not!

So many times we are beaten down by words and such but we continue to get up and we continue to plug forward and each of us, in our own times, in our own ways, WE ARE OVERCOMING the battle with the beast. That beast is Vaginismus.

I want anyone reading this to know that the MOST powerful words Dr Pacik ever said to me were…..

THE PROBLEM IS NOT IN YOUR HEAD! IT’S IN YOUR VAGINA!

And you know what? He was right.

DR PACIK ROCKS!

[Heather34]

Huge Congrats to you Becca!!!! This is so, so, so, so wonderful! Sending you huge hugs!!!!