Feeling Too Scared To Try

[kemk2000]

Hello, I am new and trying to find out if vaginismus is what I’m struggling with or if it’s something else. After years of seemingly needless aversion to inserting anything inside I’ve decided that I really should try. However, upon trying with a finger I felt way too nervous and even a bit lightheaded to try. I ended up getting a set of dilators but can’t seem to be able to talk myself into putting anything more than a millimetre in on the smallest one. I am so scared to try to put it further! I’ve never inserted anything inside but would really like to be able to for the sake of myself and my partner of three years. Does anyone know if this is vaginismus or just some sort of anxiety? How can I push past my fear?

[GirlfromEngland]

Hi KemK,

You sound exactly like me. I simply had a fear of inserting anything into my vagina. The thought of it alone made me panic. I started a relationship last year and really thought I needed to face this issue head on and try and find a solution.

I am based in England and found a great doctor in London who was easily and painlessly able to diagnose vaginismus. He performed the Botox treatment on me and I am pleased to say it was a success and I am now able to use the largest dilator. This was just unfathomable to me a short time ago! The Botox treatment really does work and I am so glad I did it. I would recommend you see a gynaecologist to discuss vaginismus so they can confirm if this is what you have. It sounds like it. I would definitely recommend you look into botox as it sounds like you would also benefit from this. It’s a great weight off your shoulders once it’s sorted. Good luck!

[Girlfromthestates]

I was wondering if you are like me, I was unable and still unable to insert anything inside the idea of even putting anything down there makes me wants to vomit, I bought dilators but I just can’t put anything in. What should I do ? Would Botox help ?

[Cathleen Kneidl, RPA-C]

Botox is very helpful for patients who struggle with using dilators. Vaginismus is the involuntary tensing of those vaginal muscles, the botox keeps those muscles from tensing up when dilating. The procedure is very effective for the treatment of vaginismus. We have been doing the Botox procedure her in NY for many years and have great success with it.

[Sks823]

Hi Kemk2000,

Yes, I can definitely relate! I bought dilators on my own too but was unable to use them until I went to Maze in NYC about 7-8 years ago. I think I also would feel nausea at the start too. Maze helped me a bit with the anxiety, inserted them for me and also taught me how to do it on my own (which initially took time but I eventually was able to). I didn’t end up needing to do the botox although they had thought I was a good candidate for it due to my anxiety/issues with the dilators at first. I tried and tried and DIDN’T GIVE UP (THIS IS CRUCIAL – I remember trying and trying to insert as my ‘homework’ after my first couple of appointments at Maze, and I really wanted to give up but I didn’t). I was able to graduate through all the dilators after some time with my Maze appointments!

Finding a pelvic floor therapist / vaginismus specialist could really help you too, as hopefully my similar story gives you some encouragement!

Hope you’re doing well