For start- vibrator or dilator ?

[For_her]

Hi there,
i introduced myself before, i am here for my wife.
For start , can we use vibrator instead of dilators? i saw that dilators are a little bit expensive from the average amazon vibrators and also they give the vibrate which could help the woman feel comfortable. the think is that i am not sure the vibrator is small enough for my wife. could you help me please find a find vibrator (not expensive one) for start?
Thanks!

[Nicole Tammelleo, MA, LCSW]

Hello For Her,

I know dilators might be a bit expensive, but while vibrators are ok for later in the dilation process, in the beginning it is important to use dilators as they come in specific very small sizes. You really will be better off using dilators at least for the smaller sizes.

Good Luck!

[Cathleen Kneidl, RPA-C]

I agree with Nicole. The vibrators would usually not come in sizes that would be good for starting dilation. And although expensive, it is still probably less expensive then purchasing numerous different sized vibrators. Dilation works best if you work through gradually increasing sizes. Hope that helps!

[Trorie]

I found glass, wood or steel toys with large bulbous head work the best for me for direct pressure with stroking (which works the best for me). There is Serenity (glass), Pure Wand (steel), and Fling (wood). All of these have a largerish head and can apply firm pressure right where I need it.

For vibrators, my favourite is the vr6 remote control sex toys at top10sextoys.com because of the head (the clit arm sucks though), and Mona 2. Again, both of these have largerish heads as well. I find that when I apply pressure with gentle rocking motion do it every time for me. I’ve tried so many other vibrators but these are the two that I reach for. Another one you might want to consider is The Big Boss. I find because of his girth he applies pressure everywhere. I found that once I was able to orgasm with dildo’s, vibrators then began to work better.

[Heliopsis]

Hi For_Her,
its very difficult to insert a vibrator if suffering from vaginismus – there is one set of dilators which have a vibrator bullet included, I am aware of:

https://www.sh-womenstore.com/sh-vibrating-silicone-vaginismus-set.html?rocket=home-most-popular

I do not know if the surface of them is smooth and rigid enough to insert them, I never tried them. I find that it is easiest to insert very resistent material like hard plastic or glas.
As they state there that the material is soft I am not sure if they are good for vaginismus patience? I suppose if you start of dilating they might seem to be less frightening? Did anyone here ever tried them??? Or other softer silicon ones?
A further point to think about is the diameter size from which they start often dilator sets start quite big. This set seems to start very small which could be a benefit – but they don’t progress to the bigger sizes which are needed at the end. So I suppose it might be an idea to have for certain a harder set made from glas or hard plastic going to the size you need – on which you can use any lubrication – and try some vibrating ones if that helps additionally. However I find dilating not very erotic so never missed the vibrating bit.
Good luck in finding the right thing! And if you should try other ones I would be very interested in your experience. I am still wondering and are very interested which ones are the best ones. I assume shape etc. must be important too and don’t worry to much about the money (- I know dilators are expensive and I struggled to have the money for them as I first started – which was horrible – but don’t let your healing be interrupted by money issues make it happen if you can – rather sooner than later – as longer it takes to start as worse it gets -) it is much worse if they are painful – and shape and quality can make a big difference. All the very Best for you tow say best greetings to your wife!

[Heliopsis]

Hi For_Her,

https://www.sh-womenstore.com/vaginismus-dilator-set.html

oh I just saw they offer as well the bigger sizes in vibrator shape.
Don’t know if of any use. good luck.