Help with dilators post Botox

[GirlfromEngland]

Hi all, I am new to this forum. I have recently had the Botox treatment done in England. All has gone well so far, the procedure was quick and successful and I have managed to dilate almost daily since the procedure 6 weeks ago. (the procedure here is slightly different to Maze in that you do not wake up with a dilator in, you go back to the Dr two weeks post Botox treatment for dilator training)

I have some questions on the best way to actually dilate. At the moment I tend to fully insert the dilator and gently move it in and out, without fully taking the dilator out. Sometimes I also put the dilator in, close my legs and hold it there for 15/20 minutes. I am keen to understand from other members how they actually dilate, if what I am doing sounds right or if I could be doing anything better to help with the full recovery? Would it be better to move the dilator fully out and in multiple times? Is just leaving it in there any good (maybe better?!) at all or should I be aiming to move the dilator?

Thanks for any advice!

[recessivegenequeen]

Hi GirlFromEngland – congrats on success with the botox procedure so far, it sounds like you are on a great track! I dilated after my botox procedure and everything you’re doing is excellent. I would recommend also fully removing and fully inserting the dilator multiple times during a session – this is often the part that can be hardest and is worth getting practice in, though just keeping the dilator in passively is also super important and you are already doing that! I would also recommend wiggling the dilator from side to side once it’s inserted in addition to moving it in and out, just to stretch the muscles more. If you do all of that before moving up sizes, the warmup size (the one smaller than you’re actively working with) is usually a piece of cake.

Hope this helps and let us know if you have any other questions!

[GirlfromEngland]

Hi Recessive Gene Queen,

Many thanks for your reply and advice that is much appreciated and very helpful.

I am not in a position at present to have intercourse… due to the fact I have only very recently started to see someone. My one major concern is not having intercourse during the 6 month period that the Botox lasts. My doctor seemed to indicate that this shouldn’t be a problem as long as I continue to dilate but as the procedure was so costly and it means a lot that this works, I am slightly worried about this. Do you know if many others at Maze would be in the same position as me or if there is any major disadvantage in first intercourse being technically after the Botox has worn off?

Many thanks again for your help. I know you had this procedure done some time ago now and have made a full recovery. It’s a great inspiration for the rest of us and it is greatly appreciated you are still active on these forums and provide help and advice to people like me, who are still a few steps behind you.

Thank you and happy new year!

[recessivegenequeen]

Hi GirlFromEngland – great to hear from you, and thank you for the kind words! Even though it’s been several years since I’ve had the procedure, I definitely still remember how hard it was emotionally to be dealing with vaginismus so have so much care in my heart for you!

Personally, I will say that I didn’t really notice a difference between before or after when the botox wore off. For me what seemed like the difference-maker of the procedure was waking up with the dilator in (which I know you didn’t do) and just getting comfortable with dilating during the time I was receiving the benefits of the botox. Building the dilation habit and making sure to do it every day were the things that seemed to really get my body ready for intercourse. I WAS dating a partner I transitioned to having sex with at the time, so it’s hard for me to totally match my experience to yours, but I think if you keep up the dilation habit you won’t have problems even once the botox wears off.

Just in terms of the new person you’re dating, I don’t know your situation or the extent to which your partner knows about your vaginismus, but something you might want to try if you’re open about the fact that you’re dilating and get to a point where you want to try having intercourse with this person is to have him insert the dilators so you can get some experience not being in total control of the dilator’s movement. It’s also especially helpful to dilate right before trying to have intercourse so you’re warmed up. Finally, I just want to mention this because it comes up A LOT, but it’s super normal for a partner who knows about your vaginismus struggles to have trouble getting an erection just in case he’s worried about hurting you. There are several ways of working through that that we’ve discussed on the forums.

I hope this helps and let us know if you have any other questions!