Introductions

[Heather34]

Hi ladies. Welcome to this new forum created exclusively for women with vaginismus. First, thank you so, so much Dr. Pacik for creating such a place for us. You are one of the most caring, empathic, and supportive doctors that I have ever met and you have truly become such an advocate for women with vaginismus. Briefly, I had Lamont Level 5 Vaginismus for several years. Until I met Dr. P, no other doctor fully understood my condition. All attempts at gynecological exams, intercourse, or any insertion at all were unsuccessful. After contacting Dr. P and having the botox procedure, I am now able to have pain-free intercourse and my husband and I couldn’t be happier. I suffered in silence with vaginismus for countless years, hiding it from all family, friends, and even doctors. This forum is a place where women finally no longer have to suffer in silence and can talk openly about all aspects of vaginismus. Please introduce yourself and I’m really looking forward to talking to all of you and would love for you to share your stories, post any questions at all, or just drop in to say hello.

[stephanie91]

Heyy. I’m stephanie and I’m 20 years old. I have only had vaginismus for 2 years. I have been to countless doctors and some physical therapy and they never could figure out what was wrong. I had read the article in Cosmopolitan and found out about vaginismus and the procedure. I am currently saving up for the procedure and everything else that goes with it.
Its awesome to have someone on here that has had the procedure done and has been successful with it. I know while getting the procedure done you have to be put to sleep. I was wondering how that affected you? Honestly thats the only part of the whole thing that im nervous about just because ive never been put under and im scared i wont wake up haha.

[enc126]

Hi Stephanie! I thought i’d respond to you on here because I got the procedure done when I was 21 years old (close to your age). I know how detrimental it can be to someone’s self esteem our age, and how frustrating and isolating it can be. I got the procedure done in July, and have had successful pain-free intercourse ever since I first attempted in August. If this is something you are truly suffering through, I can’t stress enough how much it can change your life. Dr. P and the rest of the doctors make you feel SO unbelievably comfortable going into the procedure, and guide you through everything you need to know with very thorough details. I know it can be scary being put under for the first time, but anaesthesia from what I’ve heard and read about in school is a very safe procedure, and the doctor’s at Dr. P’s really know what they are doing. The doctor’s will bring you into the room and you won’t even remember them administering it, you’ll simply wake up feeling a little funny and loopy. Personally, I like the feeling (I find that I’m a lot more sociable and funny haha). If you have any other questions, feel free to message me. I can’t tell you enough how much of a blessing this procedure is. I wish you SO so much luck!

[Heather34]

Hi ladies! So nice to hear from both of you. @Stephanie, I was honestly so scared too prior to my procedure about the anesthesia and being put to sleep. It’s a very common fear. It couldn’t have been a better experience however. @E, I couldn’t agree with you more that Dr. P and the anesthesiologists and really all of the clinicians there make you feel so, so comfortable and at ease. The procedure itself only takes between 15-20 minutes and you wake right up just feeling a little funny. Then, the recovery room nurses and Dr. P are right there by your side and guide you through the next steps. Congratulations “E” on having the procedure in July and your amazing success. This is truly wonderful! No words could ever adequately describe just how much a blessing this procedure really is! It’s certainly the best part of our 2011!!!

[versha87]

Hello,
I just thought I’d add my quick introduction. I’m 25 and I’ve had vaginismus for as long as I can remember – from the first time I tried to use tampons to the first time I tried to have intercourse, it was always like hitting a wall. For a long time I was ashamed and thought something was wrong with me. I believe I can now trace the physical spasms back to a bladder operation I had when I was 6 years old, which involved a doctor inserting a camera inside me while I was still conscious. I went through many uninformed doctors later who told me, “just relax, it’s all in your head, have a drink”….which caused me to continue trying to achieve intercourse through unhealthy ways and only made the vaginismus stronger. On the bright side, I finally feel that I understand the condition and that it is beyond my control to fix it through mind-power/relaxation, which really takes a huge burden off! I’m currently engaged and going for the botox treatment with Dr. Pacik in March and I am so excited to begin the next chapter of my life!! I never even knew such a treatment existed until I read about it online, and I really do hope that we can bring more awareness to this issue so that other women do not continue to suffer unnecessarily.

@Stephanie, have you considered the carecredit card? That’s what I’m planning to use so that I can pay for the treatment afterwards over 18-24 months.

[stephanie91]

@e- the vaginismus has definitely taken its toll on my self esteem and how i feel about myself in general. It’s also very hard on my relationship at times. There was a time where me and my boyfriend did nothing but argue all the time…we were pretty much at our breaking point. Things have now gotten better which is always a good thing, just i know its not only me its affecting. Its really reassuring that someone close to my age knows exactly how I feel and hearing all of the success stories makes me even more excited for the procedure.
@heather- I’m really glad that the anesthesia doesnt sound as bad as I’m thinking it will be. Im still extremely nervous about it, but I’ll deal with it to get the procedure done.
@Versha- I have thought about it. I still have to sign up for the whole payment options thing and to see what other options there are for me. Its something that me and my boyfriend have to sit down and look through everything together to see if we are able to afford a good amount payment plan each month.

[Heather34]

@ Versha, congratulations on your upcoming procedure in March. It will truly be “life-changing” for you! You wrote about uninformed doctors telling you to “just relax, it’s all in your head, have a drink.” This sounds so similar to doctors and clinicians that I met in the past who truly did not understand vaginismus at all. It was very frustrating and humiliating. It was seriously so wonderful and amazing to find Dr. Pacik and meet people who “get” the condition and understand that it doesn’t just go away by trying to will yourself to relax. I also love your statement “I really do hope that we can bring more awareness to this issue so that other women do not continue to suffer unnecessarily.” This is my sincere hope as well and the more we all work to get the word out about vaginismus, the more likely we are to help women from all over the world and to prevent their further suffering. I’m very impressed that more is finally being said about vaginismus in the media (even in the latest November issue of Cosmo) but still think that so much more needs to be done to spread the word about the realism of the condition and the fact that there is a treatment out there that works!

@ Steph, I promise you that the anesthesia is not bad at all and the whole procedure only takes between 15-20 minutes. Also, the anesthesiologist is super friendly and a genuinely nice guy.

[Amanda Miller]

I’m Amanda and I’m 28 years old. I just recently had this procedure with Dr. Pacik and I already have had success. If you have Any questions please ask. I am open to answering anything. This changed my life and I want it to change yours also.

[Lou]

Hi, I’m Lou and I’m 32 years old. I’ve had vaginismus for as long as I can remember. I’ve tried lots of different “treatments” and have seen therapists, doctors, nurses and so called specialists but no one has been able to really help and I’ve never felt like any of them truly understood. It’s been really humiliating & frustrating. I’m booked in for the Botox treatment next week and I’m getting more and more nervous about it. What if it doesn’t work (I have heard of someone else who had the proecdure but has not been able to have intercourse), what do I do then? I’m also nervous of the actual procedure itself. To help my nerves, I’m trying to get myself as prepared as possible. I live in the uk so me & my husband are flying across on Saturday. Ellen has sent me a list of a few items to bring such as pillow, tight shorts, etc. But i was wondering if anyone had any other suggestions of what else I should pack that would help? Or any pre procedure advice? Thank you.

[Tabia]

Hey everyone!

I’m Tabia, a 37 year old former Vaginismus sufferer. I was treated in July.

Lou, I thought the same thing but I tell you IT HAS CHANGED MY LIFE! Having had the same feeling that you did, I don’t think anyone can actually prepare you for what’s about to happen but trust me after suffering for 22 years, I began operating like I have been having sex for years after 2 weeks. Best of luck to you on your new journey!

[Alyx]

Hi everyone,

I’m Alyx and I had the procedure done in September. I’ve been able to dilate up to big blue in 3 months what I couldn’t do in 6 years… I was molested as a child and never realized I had vaginismus until I was married. Could never insert a tampon, have a gyn exam, or any type of penetration whatsoever. Researched by myself and found vaginismus, brought this to my doc and then received a diagnosis. I’ve been through 1 primary care, 1 gyn, 2 physical therapists, craniosacral therapy, 2 talk therapists, 1 psychologist (they said I’d become depressed), and 2 marriage counselors… I truely felt as though having this procedure was my last stand, so to speak. I’m currently working on transitioning with my hubby. I know how some of you feel. I was absolutely petrified to have the procedure, but as someone told me the initial fear is the worst part. I hope to be able to post periodically with my questions and hopefully transition and be able to answer questions too lol. Just know, this procedure works, I promise. I feel like if its working for me, it can work for anyone.

Alyx 🙂

[Heather34]

Hi ladies. Welcome Amanda, Lou, Tabia, and Alyx to the forum! Thank you so, so much for sharing your stories with us and for your wonderful posts. @ Lou, it is entirely normal to have pre-procedure jitters. To get through this, one of the things that helped me the most was hearing Dr. P say that close to all of his patients feel the exact same way and have a significant amount of anxiety prior to being treated. It also helped to speak to other already treated patients and to read success stories. It truly is LIFE-CHANGING and will work for you!!! It also really helped me to know that I could have anti-anxiety treatment ahead of time and to know that the procedure itself only takes between 15-20 minutes. Also, one more thing that helped both my hubby and I tremendously was the way all of the staff and Dr. P treated us. They were all so welcoming, accepting, and had a special and unique way of making you feel comfortable. We are all here for you every step of the way!!!

[orange_mocha]

Hi everyone,

I’m 23 years old, and I have had vaginismus since I tried to use a tampon at 14 – and simply couldn’t do it! The pain and fear was so overwhelming, and I felt so embarrassed. Years went by and I tried to ignore it. My first pelvic exam – or an attempt at one – was a complete nightmare. My legs clamped shut, I couldn’t stop sobbing, and the doctor was clearly annoyed by my emotional reaction. Over the following three years, I was diagnosed with vulvodynia, vestibulitis, myofascial pain syndrome, vaginismus…every doctor had a different idea. I tried physical therapy, myofascial therapy, lidocaine ointment, and was even given dilators. However, they were plastic and rock-hard, covered the three largest sizes, and no one told me anything about how to use them. I eventually gave up after my health system ran out of ideas, and I was literally told, “we’re not sure what to try next.” The only remaining option was to have a vestibulectomy, which terrified me…and I had recently become engaged. I began to sink into a deep depression, scared that my unsolvable problem would eventually kill our relationship.

Long story short, I found Dr. Pacik’s website after countless hours of web-searching. I did extensive research into his facility and the procedure, and its non-invasive nature and strong focus on dilation training and sex counseling sounded very promising. My doctors were completely unfamiliar with the relatively new Botox procedure, and were convinced that the PT sessions would work if I just “gave it more time.” Unfortunately, as a Lamont level 5, I could barely tolerate even the smallest of dilators – home dilation exercises were next to impossible. After the initial consultation, thorough research on the procedure, and thorough one-on-one communication with Dr. Pacik, I was thrilled to give this a shot. So in June 2011, my fiance and I spent two days in New Hampshire as I underwent the Botox procedure. On the first day, I talked with Dr. Pacik and his staff before the procedure, and everyone was so kind and reassuring. The anesthesiologist even personally introduced himself! I also especially remember Ellen as being so cheerful and calming every step of the way. They encouraged my fiance to hold my hand as they put me under, and he was there throughout the whole procedure. Dr. Pacik explained the entire procedure to him as it was occurring, and he was able to see my muscle spasms first-hand. When I woke up about 30 minutes later with the blue dilator (largest size!) inside me with no pain, I burst into tears because I was so happy. The second day was extensive dilation training, sex counseling…and even a practice pelvic exam (!) with Ellen. This was SO helpful! I went home feeling so empowered and hopeful.

It’s been about six months since I had the procedure done, and I am virtually pain free!! Life without vaginismus IS possible, and you are NOT alone. =)

[Heather34]

@ Orange, welcome to the forum and I loved reading your post. Thank you so, so much for sharing your story with us. You have gone through so much and deserve sincere congratulations on your tremendous success! You wrote “my doctors were completely unfamiliar with the botox procedure and were convinced that PT would work … I could barely tolerate even the smallest dilators – home dilation exercises were next to impossible.” Reading this inspires me so much to advocate and educate regarding the botox procedure. I also had Lamont Level 5 and attempted physical therapy which proved to be impossible. This procedure worked where every other treatment failed! You also wrote “when I woke up about 30 minutes later with the blue dilator (largest size!) inside me with no pain, I burst into tears because I was so happy.” This is EXCELLENT!!! When you wake up, it truly is one of the best feelings in the entire world to know that something can fit inside of you and cause NO PAIN!!! It’s a surreal feeling. Finally, you wrote “it’s been about six months since I had the procedure done, and I am virtually pain free!!” EXCELLENT again and my sincere congratulations to you on your success. I look forward to reading your posts.

[Heather34]

Hi ladies! For all who posted and introduced themselves and shared stories, thank you so, so, so much. I truly loved reading them. I’ve posted personal messages to you in the “Welcome New Members” thread. WELCOME all newly signed-up members to the forum! You will love it. I remember the feeling that I had when I first joined a forum and saw women actually talking openly about the same issue that I had. It was awesome! I sincerely encourage all forum members to please introduce yourself, say hi, welcome new members, share stories, ask questions, provide encouragement, and seek support. I’m looking so forward to meeting all of you! All the Best!