Introductions

[Dr. Pacik]

I checked out Dr. Ridgeway’s credentials and they seem to be excellent. This sounds like a very good referral. If she is not close enough, an initial consultation would be worthwhile. I will be happy to collaborate with her. Please continue to post so we can all learn from your experience.

[katiemo02]

Hi all-
I’m Katie. I’m 25 years old and married. I’ve known about my vaginismus for about 9 years. I don’t know the cause of vaginismus for me–as I had never been through anything traumatic. I did grow up in a religious family and sex was always an uncomfortable topic for me. I’ve never had a successful pap smear or used a tampon; however I have had complete intercourse once but typically only partial. I have not had treatment of any kind at this point, but am interested as we are now TTC. Just trying to get an idea of the options out there and what would work best for me.

[Lou]

Hi Katie, welcome to the forum. This forum has provided me with lots of support & advice, and I found it so reassuring to find I was not alone anymore in suffering with vaginismus – I’m sure you’ll find the same. I’m 32, suffered with vaginismus for years and like you I never knew the cause. I had the Botox procedure in January and it has been successful. Please feel free to ask any questions that you have.

[wine54]

Hi —-is this the right place to post?–wine54

[wine54]

I guessed I answered my own question LOL

[wine54]

I’m from Winnipeg,Manitoba,Canada and I have fibromyalgia which I was diagnosed with about 8 yrs ago.I have been in alot of pain and had chronic fatigue and all sorts of other problems.I have been on & off work at the same place.It was very hard on my poor husband and 2 daughters because fibro is so misunderstood.To make things even worse,when I was able to have sex (which wasn’t too often but very enjoyable ),one night it was very uncomfortable and went downhill from there for the last 3 yrs or so.After many dr’s visits,I found out that my PC muscle was tight and started seeing a physiotherapist which started to help and am now using dilators.I actually got the largest one in last night although it burned—but I did it!!!!I ordered the “Yes”lubricant a few days ago because it is organic and everyone seems to say how awesome it is—including someone on this site.I saw the comment AFTER I ordered it and now I can hardly wait to use it!!Has anyone else had success with it?Also,I was wondering if I can order the kind of dilators that you can sleep with or leave in for awhile —does anyone know?P.S. We have 3 beautiful grandchildren ,have got my pain mostly under control and we want our sex life back!

[wine54]

Heather–I was wondering why you have to pay for the botox treatment 3 wks in advance.That seems strange to us.I just had lasik eye surgery for example and I paid on the day of the procedure.

[Janet Pacik]

Hi Wine, This is Janet Pacik and I am the practice manager. All of our vaginismus treatment is done under anesthesia and we use board certified MDs for this. We also have staffing requirements including RNs for the days of surgery. Because of the high costs of staffing on the days we do procedures, it is imperative that the treatment is paid 3 weeks in advance. We simply cannot wait until the day of treatment to find out that the patient cannot pay or the credit card has declined or the personal check has not cleared. We do offer financing from a number of companies such as Care Credit to patients within the US. I hope this helps to understand why we must receive payment in full 3 weeks in advance.

[sjf02]

1

[Heather34]

Hi SFJ and welcome to the forum! Thank you so much for your post and sharing your story with us. You wrote “It took me years to learn how to explain (usually via letter because writing is easier for me) to an outsider exactly what it is, how I react, how it has radically impacted my ability or inability to form close relationships and effects almost all aspects of my day-to-day life.” This is so, so similar to how I felt for years SFJ and you are entirely correct that it is sometimes easier to explain just how you feel and all about vaginismus in writing. I also used to do this and found it an easier form of communication as well as I felt like nobody understood what I was trying to say. You also wrote “I’m currently actively trying to overcome it and I have a great therapist who is amazingly understanding and compassionate.” This is truly so, so important and wonderful that you found a supportive therapist. I found that it helped me beyond words to have this type of support to really discuss all aspects of vaginismus. I also just found her so helpful in discussing all of my feelings before I had the procedure and also post-procedure as well. You further wrote “I am really skeptical about Dr. Pacik’s methods … I get that it works, but I would really rather not be injected.” I was very nervous prior to my procedure to the point that I actually got physically sick (threw up) on the drive up to Dr. P’s office. I was a Lamont 5++ and had the severe anxiety/pain response with any attempt at penetration. This significantly impacted my life in just countless ways (i.e. never could wear a tampon, lied to friends, felt broken, negatively impacted all relationships, etc. etc. etc.). Meeting Dr. Pacik and his staff and having this procedure done last year was one of the best decisions of my life. Everything is honestly different now and most importantly, I just feel wonderful that I can now put all of the years of suffering behind me and live life vag-free. I can wear tampons, have successful ob/gyn exams for the first time ever, have pain-free intercourse, and I 100% know that I could never have done this and I would never be where I am right now if it wasn’t for Dr. Pacik and this procedure. It was truly life-changing for me and, again, one of the best decisions of my life. Finally, you wrote “even the word ‘dilator’ has come to freak me out.” I entirely get this as well. Prior to my procedure, I ordered dilators from vaginismus.com and could never insert them because they just scared me so much. I never ever thought I would be able to use a dilator and even the thought of having to try to learn how to do this made me incredibly anxious. However, when I actually woke up with the largest blue dilator inside of me and then was able to take it out and re-insert it again pain-free, I was in “awe” and so amazed that it worked. Dilators went from terrifying and impossible to something that I knew I could now do and it felt great.

I 100% believe in you and am here for you SFJ. I know you will overcome vaginismus and we are all here to support you in your journey. One of the greatest parts of the forum is we no longer have to experience the isolation that often accompanies vaginismus. Instead, we are all here for each other as we have been exactly where you are right now. I look forward to hearing more from you and reading more of your posts. Take care, H

[sjf02]

1

[Heather34]

Hi SFJ. You wrote “I would love to help with advocacy on the issue. I’m excited to read and respond to other people.” This is wonderful to read and I sincerely thank you for this. I LOVE the idea of finally talking openly about vaginismus and no longer having to live with it in secrecy and isolation. Just by opening up with each other and talking about it together on this forum, we are already helping to really spread the word, educate, and help others. Concerning the dilators, it is seriously so, so amazing how well it works. I entirely understand your nervousness about this, however, and I promise you that this is entirely normal to feel. After reading Dr. P’s book last year prior to my procedure and talking to other formerly treated patients, I just could still never ever imagine myself being successful with the dilators. I convinced myself that I would be the only patient that it wouldn’t work on. What helped me so much here is being able to share these feelings with a very, very supportive therapist and to hear her actually tell me that she knew I would be able to do it. Sometimes, if someone else truly and honestly believes in you, it can work wonders for your confidence and help you to believe in yourself and your abilities that much more. And, it also took just going through it and successfully experiencing it. I promise you and any other woman out there who is reading this that it really does work and I sincerely feel like if it worked for me, it will work for anyone. I honestly can’t describe in words just how nervous that I was about the whole thing but now, I just couldn’t imagine life without having done this. Another thing that really helped me and motivated me personally to overcome vaginismus was my health. While having vaginismus, I could never ever have a successful gynecological exam and it always ended badly and in tears. I also could never have the required tests (i.e. internal ultrasound). After the procedure, I had my first successful ob/gyn exam last October and I’m still honestly so, so happy that it worked and was pain-free. The only thing that I wish I did differently is I wish I would’ve found out about Dr. Pacik and this treatment sooner. I tried so many other treatments (pelvic floor PT, biofeedback, dilating on my own, etc.) and nothing worked as I could not differentiate the pain/anxiety response to the point that any attempt at insertion hurt (even a q-tip). Once I had the procedure and knew that something could successfully go inside of me pain-free, I kind of re-trained my brain. Rather than anticipating a terrible burning pain with insertion, I knew that if I had already successfully inserted something pain-free, it would work again with no pain. I just want you to know that I’m here for you 100% and believe in you. I also love reading your posts and, again, love that we have this forum, a supportive community to finally talk openly about vaginismus. Can’t wait to hear back from you soon. Take care, H

[Heather34]

Hi wine and welcome to the forum! Thank you so, so much for sharing your story. My sincere CONGRATS to you on your success with the dilators. It is wonderful that you were able to use the largest one!!! I personally have never tried the lubricant “YES” but I have also heard really good reviews about it. Have you tried using it yet? I would love to hear what you think about it. The only lube that I’ve used is the lidocaine/surgilube mix from Dr. P’s office and then “Pre-seed” as it is fertility friendly and we are currently trying to conceive. As for sleeping with dilators, I have used the “pure-romance” dilators from Dr. Pacik’s office. In the beginning, I slept with the purple alternating with pink medium-large dilators. Now, several forum members have also discussed the new glass dilators and they have received rave reviews for their comfort levels. I can’t wait to hear more from you and read more of your posts. Take care, H

[Janet Pacik]

I am in the process of contacting the manufacturers of Yes Lubricant as it really does appear to be a wonderful lubrication. Unfortunately, they are not able to see it to us until they get FDA clearance for the USA. They indicated that as soon as they have more information from the FDA, they will get in touch with us so that we can be a distributor of Yes Lubricant.