Low Libido

[Nakitalab]

It has been 96 days since my procedure and I’m still faithfully dilating every day. I’m still in awe every time my husband and I make love as there is still no pain. My challenge lately is I have a very low libido. Between menopause, the stress of every day life and training my mind to know that intercourse does not hurt anymore and it is meant for pleasure, I find that I have zero desire. We are open to anything, especially my husband LOL. Does anyone have suggestions on what gets your blood to rise? We have a small house with two children and so it is especially hard for me to relax and enjoy when we are all home. I do so much better when we have a sleep over date night in a hotel, but right now we can’t afford that. Does anyone have suggestions on soft porn movies, titles, etc.? I need to get my mind off of my “to do” list and on to my husband. :0)

[Heather34]

Hi Nakitalab. You are doing wonderful and making tremendous progress. This is a great post. In looking into this further, I found a helpful question and answer that may be of assistance to you and may be very helpful with increasing your libido:

The thread link is here: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090306193730AAWzL61

The gentleman asks a question regarding finding a soft-core porn movie that is tasteful to watch with his wife.

Excerpts from the response include:
“My recommendation would be to start out first with something erotic but not necessarily porn (i.e it’s sexual, but the sex is actually simulated). It’ll get you both in the mood, and ease her in without being too cheesy/funny or too scary hardcore.

My absolute fave for this is the Canadian series “Bliss”:

http://www.amazon.com/Bliss-Complete-Sea…

So hot, so sexy, well-acted, beautifully filmed, and great plots.

Next in the progression, I’d suggest Tony Comstock’s films. They’re documentary in style, shooting a real-life couple having tender, romantic, intimate sex interspersed with interviews of them talking about their love and sex life, how they met, etc.. What’s great about it is that the people are attractive, but they don’t have that intimidating porno look, and you actually get to know them as people. The sex they have is familiar- it’s hot but looks like something you’d do at home, not like the uncomfortable positions you see in most mainstream porn. She’ll probably love it. You can check them out and watch previews here:

http://comstockfilms.com/main.html

But finally, the best way is to look at them together with her, instead of surprising her with something and having her feel it is too hardcore or too softcore. If you involve her in the process, she’ll have more of a say, get to add her input of what she thinks is sexy. Browse some lists of couples-friendly films together, and then order one to see how you like it:

http://erotica-readers.com/ERA/AM/Porn_F…

http://www.blowfish.com/catalog/videos/c…

Good luck, and I hope this helps.”

These suggestions may be very helpful to increase your libido. Another idea is to watch on-demand movies from either Showtime or Cinemax as they have an adult section of movies that are considered softcore and tasteful. What may be helpful about watching movies together is it is another excellent way to relax, distract you from the stresses of every day life, and to also get you both in the mood that much more. I hope this helps.

[salvarez91]

Heather, I was interested in what you posted but the links do not lead to anywhere except comstock and erotica, do you have updated info on the other ones?

[Heather34]

Hi Salvarez. I couldn’t locate updated info for the second site (blowfish) but I did find an updated link for BLISS:

http://www.amazon.com/movies-tv/dp/B0009WIEN4

[Alyx]

Hi everybody… I just wanted to post in this forum because I still have an incredibly low libido too?? It took over a year for us to achieve penetration and we just recently had successful thrusting added. The thrusting doesn’t feel great yet but my question is just that… How long did it take to begin feeling “good”??? I think this may have a direct correlation with the fact that I have little to now libido as of yet??? Maybe this will change when it begins to feel “good” as opposed to painful, awkward and uncomfortable.