Moving the mountain

[Daffodil]

Hi
Dear All Folks

I am just wondering from where to start and how?. Just thinking that even writing a few words to break my silence wall, would be a huge step. Isn’t that.
I have been trying to move the ‘mountain’, my vaginismus, for almost 5 years. Its just this year I am given an impression that it is more in my head rather than inner thighs. Right now, undergoing pelvic physiotherapy with a lovely lady professional, but feeling so sorry as I fail to keep compliance with what she encouraged me for to move on with my struggle, due to what?not sure.

Am I on the right road to marital bliss??

It has been only one week I have come across this web forum. Dr.Pacik has absolutely done a marvellous job for so many lives. He is retired but what if I still wish to talk to him for once?
I am outside USA; How Botoux might work for me?, how to manage with cost, travel, convincing family..are my new fears now. Thinking how to overcome but one thing is for sure I need immense amount of Hope to find my way.

Love & Prayers to all

best regards

[Heather34]

Hi Daffodil. Welcome to the Forum and thank you so, so very much for your post! You are absolutely correct – even writing a few words is so monumental and a huge step in overcoming. I promise you in this new year of 2016 to support you 100% in overcoming vaginismus! I wanted to share a recent post that I wrote concerning treatment options for out-of-country patients. It is super long so I won’t re-post it here but will provide you with the link to check it out: http://www.vaginismusmd.com/support/vaginismus-md-forum/?mingleforumaction=viewtopic&t=1092 Sending you huge hugs and all my support!!!

[Dr. Pacik]

Thank you for your post and your kind words. My experience is that when women have long term vaginismus and in addition do not respond to pelvic floor physiotherapy, the best course is to come to the US and have the Botox treatment under anesthesia. The anesthetic removes the fear and anxiety related to penetration allowing the woman to continue her dilation after she wakes up. This is often a turning point and a likely successful outcome.

[Heather34]

Hi Daffodil. You wrote:

“…I have been trying to move the ‘mountain’, my vaginismus, for almost 5 years. Its just this year I am given an impression that it is more in my head rather than inner thighs….”

I’m so sorry that you were given the impression that vaginismus is in your head. I have read so many similar stories and have my own story of seeking and receiving several failed treatments for vaginismus. The pain associated with vaginismus is not “in the women’s head” and does not readily respond to suggestions to “just relax”. Vaginismus is a ‘real’ physical pain and the Botox treatment for vaginismus works to address both this physical pain and to also diffuse the fear of penetration. First, the Botox injections work to weaken the tight vaginal muscles that often make penetration impossible. Second, waking up with the dilator already in place works very well to diffuse the fear associated with penetration. For some patients, such as myself, this was the first time that something was inside of me “pain-free” and, in realizing this, it entirely eliminated any anxiety associated with penetration. The uniqueness of this combined approach to vaginismus is what truly makes it work so, so well.

You also wrote:
…”Thinking how to overcome but one thing is for sure I need immense amount of Hope to find my way.”

Please have hope and know that you can and will overcome this! If you haven’t yet, please try to work with Maze Women’s Sexual Health in any way possible. In a recent post, Melissa wrote an excellent message to another Forum member who lives out of country. She writes: “We would love to treat you here in the US, as I believe the Botox procedure with progressive dilation would really be the best treatment option. If you want to speak with someone about the procedure, please don’t hesitate to call. Melissa (914)-328-3700”

I also wanted to share some wonderful quotes of inspiration with you:

“To get through the hardest journey we need take only one step at a time, but we must keep on stepping.” – Chinese Proverb

“I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.”
-Audrey Hepburn