Partner Participation?

[Cathleen Kneidl, RPA-C]

I encourage patients to have their partners involved in the dilation process if the patient is comfortable with it. I have the partner start off with one of the smaller dilators that the patient has already worked through, so that they can see that the dilator goes in, and it does not cause her any discomfort. It’s helpful to have the partner involved, and it makes the transition to having intercourse a little easier.

[Helen Leff, LCSW]

To echo Cathleen, it is most beneficial to have your partner involved in the dilation process. It can give him a good idea of the angle needed when intercourse is on the table as well as give him confidence that he will not cause you pain when you are ready to attempt intercourse. Men may develop difficulty becoming erect or maintaining an erection because they are anxious about causing pain. Having your partner involved can be mutually beneficial.

[Nicole Tammelleo, MA, LCSW]

I totally agree with everyone here. The more you are able to involve a partner in the process the better. Many partners had a hard time understanding that vaginismus is real and NOT all in your head. Being a part of the process will be a great way to help the partner learn that is not true.

[recessivegenequeen]

I will add that I think having my partner involved with my dilation is part of what made it possible for me to have sex so soon after my procedure (day 20). Dilating itself is not an erotic experience, but my partner and I made a point to surround it with other erotic activities that I enjoyed. He would get me aroused so that I could slide the dilator in easily. Once I came to associate my boyfriend’s presence with an easy insertion, it made the switch to a penis surprisingly smooth!