Patterns

[newbie]

Hi everyone,
I’m many months into daily dilation therapy and on the surface of things I look like I’ve made a lot of progress. I use only the second largest dilator every day and on the whole can very easily move it entirely in and out. My problem is that almosy every day at the start of my session, it’s a struggle at the start. That’s to say, usually once I go a few inches in I get that familiar block feeling and then after a few seconds it subsides and I can go all the way in. Also, there’s always a very full/tight feeling on first full insertion every night, which then feels looser and easier after I go in and out a few times. I try to apply pressure to the areas I feel are tight but I just wondered is a pattern like this normal, and do I have to get beyond this initial daily part before sex might be an option, or does anyone else have experience of sex where initially those barriers are there for a minute or so and then subside? Please help, I would love some advice from you guys!

[mazemelissa]

This all sounds pretty normal to me. The first pass of the dilator is always the hardest. You might find that this size will always be a struggle, until you move up to the next size. Once you start using the largest size in the set, this second largest size should be a lot easier to insert.

We often recommend dilating immediately prior to intercourse, and that is helpful because the dilator can break that initial resistance, and then the penis will have an easier time to penetrate.

[recessivegenequeen]

Hi newbie – speaking as someone who used to have vaginismus and dilated (and who now just has intercourse without dilation), this is definitely normal. When my partner and I have intercourse the first thrust has the most resistance and then subsequent movements are smoother. It’s just your vagina stretching and making room. Also, the area right inside the vagina is the tight muscular “wall” you have to bypass anyway, so that will always be where you feel the most resistance (whereas once you get past this part of the muscle, the rest of a dilator will usually slide in easily).

It’s hard to know when you first start dilating how it’s supposed to feel, but it sounds like you’re making great progress. You’ll likely grow used to these sensations over time as you recognize them as increasingly normal.

[Heather]

Hi newbie! I love what the ladies above said! Absolutely! It’s definitely normal. Actually for quite some time during my first year of being able to have penetrative sex, it would hurt in the beginning for a bit but then it would go away. I was also limited to a few positions that didn’t hurt me. But now I’d consider where I’m at normal. I can do all the positions and sex is great and enjoyable! You will definitely get there! One day the pain upon first insertion will no longer exist! It’ll always be tight when the penis first enters but that jolt of pain should go away.

[Lulu1802]

I am having a similar problem to this but a little different that I can’t fix, when I have intercourse with my boyfriend we can get pass the first resistance muscle wall even though it hurts a little but then it stretches and makes room, but from the first enter it causes Buring that does not stop, I can pass the tense muscle but not how it causes burning, how can I help ease this?

[recessivegenequeen]

Lulu1802, have you tried dilating before? The “burning” pain in my experience has been associated with a tightness in my vagina like it’s being stretched past its level of comfort. Dilating is a way of stretching the muscles of your vagina so they can more comfortably accommodate a penis without this pain over time. I recommend reading more on these forums about dilating and perhaps purchasing a set of dilators for yourself!