Pls help me

[Pinkygirl]

I have been married from past 7 months. We firstly tried having sex on our wedding night but i had pain as i thought he is inserting in the wrong place so i stopped him. Then after few days we tried it again and i had so much pain even in the entrance that i couldn’t do it. Then during our honeymoon time , he inserted a bit i felt pain like something hit strongly. I cried and stopped him. Then we didn’t try for 4 months. Then we tried again and he went a bit inside and with so much pain and again something hitting a wall feeling that i stopped him but he ejaculated at that time too. We stopped doing it again till now like 3 months more. But 3 months back i got pregnant and i was so nervous like how it had happened and all but yet accepted it, i had pregnancy for 3 months but no growth after 5 weeks so i had to go for D&C after naturally miscarried it. Now it’s been 2 weeks after my D&C, my husband wanted to try sex again but i am really fearful of that sex pain that i don’t want to try. Even when he intends to come near to my vagina automatically my muscles tighten and that i cannot control. I even went to doctor for prenatal check and whenever she tried to insert her finger inside my vagina i had so much pain that i had her to stop.
Kindly help me in this regard so i can enjoy sex without pain or fear. And i do not have access to dilators as they are not available here in my area nor online. Suggest me some options that i can try at home to deal with this situation. And i want to tell that i can insert my one finger easily with little pain but not more than one finger.

[mazemelissa]

Hi Pinkygirl,

I am so sorry for your pregnancy loss. I understand your hesitation to want to try intercourse again after having pain since your first attempt.

I do think you have vaginismus, and dilators would be so helpful.

Since you do not have access to dilators, I think you need to improvise and try to work with what you can find that could mimic shapes of a dilator, start small and work up.

Can your husband insert his finger? If you can have him insert one finger, he can slowly try to massage the vaginal opening to stretch it, then he can try to insert two fingers.

Sometimes lidocaine cream or gel can also help with the pain and that is usually sold over the counter, you can also try that.

You also sound like a great candidate for our Botox procedure her in NY, if you can make the trip. (Here is some more information for patients outside of the New York area).

Melissa

[Pinkygirl]

Thanks for answering mazemelissa, but if i try ti enter my finger, it not hurts. But whenever my husband tries, it hurts a lot. And can you tell me any things which can specifically mimic dilator.
And i don’t live in USA so i cannot come to your clinic.