pregnant and survived ultra sound!

[Sofi]

Approximately 5-ish months post-procedure, I am happy to say that I am 9 weeks pregnant! I had my first official doctor appointment yesterday. I was nervous for the trans-vaginal ultra sound and truly did not know if I’d be able to handle it because I didn’t know what to expect. Luckily I had the confidence to explain my situation to the nurse, and she was nice enough to let me go in the exam room a bit early so I’d have time to use my dilator. It’s funny how the mind works- at home I can use the purple without any problems, but laying there in the exam room I could feel the familiar tension and fear coming back. With some deep breathing, I was able to use the dilator, and 20 minutes later completed the ultra sound! It wasn’t comfortable, but it wasn’t too painful either…and definitely worth it to see the baby and hear the heart beat.

I never thought I’d get to this point and I just hope that all of you who are just starting this journey keep your hopes up and don’t lose faith in the process!

On a side note- if anyone has any pregnancy related questions, or has gone through pregnancy and has advice on the process, please do post here or start another thread.

[Allie]

CONGRATS!!! 🙂

[Catherine]

Sofi —

Thanks so much for sharing this news. I had Dr. Pacik’s procedure about 3 months ago, and hearing your report gives us great hope! Keep us posted on your progress! —

[Dr. Pacik]

What wonderful news. Please send me a photo to my private email address!
I love it when patients notify me about first time intercourse. This is even better!
My best.

[Heather34]

CONGRATULATIONS Sofi! This is wonderful news!!!

[Heather34]

Hi ladies. Dr. Pacik has further written excellent blogs on the topic of Pregnancy and Vaginismus.

http://www.vaginismusmd.com/pregnancy-and-vaginismus/

From a treated patient post-procedure:

“I would love to talk to (name withheld). Pregnancy is so wonderful and the exams are really a piece of cake if you have a caring and gentle doctor to talk you through it. My first exam EVER was my first cervical check while I was pregnant with Kaden. I was terrified, but my ob/gyn doctor placed her finger on the muscles that were tensing and said “relax these right here”. I did, and all went well after that. I am still so proud of myself (and a bit astonished) that I was able to go through the birth/delivery process. But you know what . . . it was amazing and a lot EASIER than I could have ever imagined!!!

What’s even greater, is that I am on my SECOND pregnancy . . . due in less than two months. WOW!!! Who would have thought little Miss Rachel with SEVERE vaginismus would be capable of delivering two children vaginally? NOT ME!!!”

AND

http://www.vaginismusmd.com/the-joy-of-getting-pregnant-after-botox-treatment-for-vaginismus/

From another treated patient post-procedure:

“Candice, a 27-year-old patient struggled with vaginismus for 10 years, was able to achieve pain free intercourse two weeks after the Botox treatment program and ultimately was able to conceive.

She writes: Just thought I would let you all know that we are expecting a little one in August!!! . . . I always thought we would never have kids because I would just have this problem forever . . . Again, thank you thank you and thank you! :))

Candice’s story can be found in the Stories Section of our website Baby on the Way”

[arose]

Congratulations Sofi!!

Thanks for sharing this with us – it would be great if you could update us through the pregnancy and birth as this kind of information is really useful to share… We’re not trying for a baby yet but hope to in the next year or so, and whilst we have come so far after the procedure, considering all the exams (and actually giving birth!) that comes with pregnancy still seems much beyond my comfort zone (to put it mildly!)…

Best of luck during this exciting time!

[Sofi]

Thanks everyone! I will definitely keep you updated as things progress.

Dr. Pacik, as soon as there is a picture to send you will have it! Thanks so much for all the work you continue to do 🙂

[Sofi]

Hello,

I thought I’d share an update 🙂

I’m now 18 weeks, or a little over 4 months along and so far the pregnancy has been going relatively smooth! Vaginismus really doesn’t affect the exams at this point- the only time they do the vaginal ultra sound is at the very beginning and very end of the pregnancy. So, my visits so far have not been stressful.

I have to confess though that I am using the dilators less and less. For a few weeks in the beginning of my pregnancy I had severe cramping and the doctor told me to stop intercourse for 3 weeks (acted like it was some big deal not to have sex for 3 weeks, little does she know). I stopped using the dilators too, not because it was any real danger, but it just was too uncomfortable.

Eventually the cramping went away and I forced myself to use the dilators at least once per week just to remind myself that I still could and not fall too far behind. Although I could feel my muscles were tighter, it was always a relief to realize I could still do it!

The last couple weeks I’ve been so lazy. I’m not much in the mood for sex since my belly is growing, and to be honest even though it seems everyone agrees it’s safe, I find it hard to completely let go and enjoy sex without starting to worry about the baby…kind of mood killer. Since the pregnancy we’ve only had sex once. So it seems pointless to use the dilators, but I know that it’s not… I’ve gotta force myself to keep it up, it’s just so hard once you let it go.

So besides an update, I guess I just wanted to say keep up the great work and feel free to offer me advice 😀

I hope you are all doing well on your journeys and it’s so great to be able to come back and read these posts.

[Heather34]

Hi Sofi.

You wrote:

“I’m now 18 weeks, or a little over 4 months along and so far the pregnancy has been going relatively smooth! Vaginismus really doesn’t affect the exams at this point- the only time they do the vaginal ultra sound is at the very beginning and very end of the pregnancy. So, my visits so far have not been stressful.”

This is so, so wonderful Sofi! You will do very, very well when they do the internal (vaginal) ultrasound as well. I had an internal ultrasound in August as they had to monitor the size of 2 ovarian cysts. I dilated with the largest glass dilator for a couple of hours in advance. Although this was not physically necessary, it made me feel better about it and more comfortable and I experienced no pain at all as I was very well stretched out in advance.

You wrote:
“The last couple weeks I’ve been so lazy. I’m not much in the mood for sex since my belly is growing, and to be honest even though it seems everyone agrees it’s safe, I find it hard to completely let go and enjoy sex without starting to worry about the baby…kind of mood killer. Since the pregnancy we’ve only had sex once. So it seems pointless to use the dilators, but I know that it’s not… I’ve gotta force myself to keep it up, it’s just so hard once you let it go.”

You can do it … even if it’s just for a little while. Like you said, it’s wonderful that when you go to start dilating again, it works and they go right in. This happened to me following a lengthy break in dilating caused by a surgery and when I started up again, I began with purple (pure romance) and worked my way back up to blue same day.

Finally, you wrote:
“I hope you are all doing well on your journeys and it’s so great to be able to come back and read these posts.”

Thanks Sofi. I love reading your posts and am so, so happy for you. You have made outstanding progress. Please keep us all posted with updates throughout your pregnancy.

[sweetiani]

I just gave birth 2 weeks ago and would like to share my experience as well with the vaginal exams. The first one I had at the OB office was the transvaginal ultrasound. This is the only one where the device has to be inserted vaginally. You have the option to opt out and wait for the abdominal ultrasound later. It was slightly painful…I would say similar to a papsmear. Once it went past the muscles, it was fine…I told the nurse about my vaginismus condition and she was very understanding and went slowly.

A cotton swab sample was taken in the beginning of pregnancy and also the last trimester for group b strep test. That procedure was not so bad and not very painful. The metal clasps were not used so that helped a lot.

The cervical exams during the last month is painful. Many OBs, like mine, like to schedule one every week for the last month of pregnancy. You have the option to opt out and that’s what I did until the very end. My friends who did not have vaginismus told me it was a painful procedure and they bled afterwards so I did lots of web research. I found out that the cervical exam is meant to tell the OB if your cervix has dilated and if it’s effaced. The thing is, there is higher chance of infection each time you do this procedure and it doesn’t really tell you much. You can be 4cm dilated one day and not go into labor for another 2 months, or you can be 0 cm dilated and go into labor the next day. Because it can’t help predict labor and there are more risks than benefits, I didn’t think it was necessary to suffer through it every week. I decided to get it done the day before I decided to get induced. It was indeed painful and I did bleed a whole pad full of blood 4 hrs after the procedure. I was not dilated at all and was 70% effaced on my due date.

As a result of my cervical exam and me wanted to get induced, I decided to get the cervidil treatment the night before my scheduled induction. I have to say this procedure is super painful! I would not go through it again. Not only do the nurse’s fingers have to go up to the cervix, she has to insert this cervidil item next to the cervix to help it dilate. I would not recommend this for vaginismus patients.

Unfortunately, I ended up having to get a c-section because the baby was in a head top, feet bottom position. The experience was actually very pleasant. The spinal anesthesia was not that painful and I would do 100 of those in exchange for 1 cervidil treatment! The spinal anesthesia felt like a warm gush of liquid flowing through my body and was very comfortable and relaxing. I just laid there and within 20 minutes, I saw my baby. The OB even had a chance to observe my ovaries and internal organs while I was cut up to make sure everything looked normal. I really wanted a vaginal delivery but the c-section worked out well too.

Hope this info helps!

[Nakitalab]

Thank you so much for sharing, sweetiani. We were not able to conceive but were blessed with our two children through adoption. Your post will be so helpful to so many. Thanks again for sharing and huge congratulations on your new bundle of joy!

[Sofi]

*Update*

Just wanted to share that on April 9th, I gave birth to a healthy and beautiful little boy.

Here’s how vaginismus affected the experience:

During the last weeks of my pregnancy, my obgyn started checking for dilation at my appointments. The exam consisted of her inserting two fingers to feel if my cervix had begun to stretch yet. I was lucky enough to have an understanding doctor who worked with me – she counted to three, started with one finger, and had me take a big breath and push while she inserted her finger. Although uncomfortable, I was able to get through the exams pretty well (after months of no dilation- too hard to keep up in the last months of pregnancy for me).

When the big day finally came, however, I had a different experience. When I checked into the hospital, the nurse set me up to do this same exam. Although I tried to explain my situation with vaginismus to the nurse, she didn’t seem to quite grasp it. She kind of just shoved her fingers up there and started feeling around, causing me a lot of pain, which in turn caused me to tense up, which of course made it all the more difficult. Apparently my cervix was positioned up very high in a difficult spot to reach and after a minute if her searching I asked for a break. She gave me some attitude, like, hello you’re already pregnant and you can’t handle two fingers? But I did my best to try to be assertive and remain calm. We tried the exam again and she was able to detect my dilation. Once I was admitted and in the labor ward, the nurses wanted to check my dilation every hour. The second nurse was worse than the first – she seemed annoyed that I was making her job more difficult.

After a full day of contractions at home and 5 hours in the hospital, I decided to get an epidural (which I’d been planning on anyway, but was hoping to do it later on in the labor process). The contractions were manageable, but I just couldn’t take any more of the exams. Also, my water had not broken and I didn’t think I could handle feeling the doctor manually break it with that little hook tool.

Can I just say, thanks to whoever invented the epidural!!! BEST decision I ever made. Exams were a breeze after that. During the pushing stage, I could feel some pressure but no pain. After one hour of pushing, my baby was born and I was actually able to enjoy the experience because I wasn’t worried about feeling pain or becoming tense.

I also had a large tear (all the way down to my anus) and was glad not to feel that, and not to feel the doctor putting in the stitches. I don’t know if the large tear was worse due to my history with vaginismus or not…

Of course to each her own, but, if you are pregnant (with or without vaginismus) I would seriously recommend getting an epidural!

Once the epidural wore off, I did feel incredibly sore. I could barely sit, stand, walk or roll over in bed for two weeks without feeling terrible pain (again, thanks to whoever invented tylenol and motrin).

It’s been almost one month now and the pain is gone. I can walk about a mile before getting sore, and both me and the baby are doing well.

In a couple weeks I’ll have my check up with my ogbyn. I’m curious to see if the childbirth experience will have any affect (positive or negative) on my ability to undergo exams, have sex, use tampons, ect.

I will report back!

Again, thanks to Dr. Pacik and the team for helping me bring my son into the world!

[Allie]

First off, congrats on your baby boy!! 🙂

I think its so sad that the nurses weren’t understanding. I already have anxiety about being in the hospital and dealing with the nurses. Atleast at the drs office you are comfortable with your dr because he is understanding, but you never know whats going to happen at the hospital. I will definitely be getting an epidural!!! And its comforting to know that even though you had a pretty bad tear that you were able to deliver vaginally!

Hope you continue to recover and that you are able to start dilating again soon! Enjoy that sweet baby! Congrats again!

[Sofi]

Thanks Allie!

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

I think the best thing you can do is be assertive. Nurses (at least in the hospital where I delivered) work 12 hour shifts and are not always the most patient people. If you need a moment to breathe, or want the nurse to start with one finger instead of two, make sure you tell them. They might look at you like you’re insane, but who cares. It surprised me (although i guess it shouldn’t have) that none of them knew the term vaginismus. Don’t let them make you feel bad or scare you – you can get through that initial exam and then with the epidural afterwards I’m sure you’ll do great!

Not sure how far along you are, but perhaps if you continue to dilate through your pregnancy you can avoid having too much tearing because your muscles will be more stretched. Like I said I didn’t feel it in the moment, but the recovery process afterwards was no fun. I hadn’t dilated for months, I found it uncomfortable when I was pregnant and couldn’t lie on my back. Plus I wasn’t having sex, so lost some motivation. I think I was also secretly hoping that the birth process would stretch my muscles and I wouldn’t need to dilate again anyway. We’ll still have to see about that one..

Anyway, feel free to send me an email if you want to talk about anything pregnancy related 🙂