Some progress!

[Jess567]

It has been awhile since I have posted on here but I somewhat have an update and a question.

Update:
I recently started physical therapy again and it is going fairly well. I’m definitely less tight than I was when I did physical therapy a few years ago. I am on anti-anxiety medication now which probably helps some. I have a lot of tightness in the pelvic area in general so I do a LOT of stretches, yoga, and foam rolling and it seems to be helping the tightness in that area significantly. I no longer have days where it is really painful to walk due to pain in the hip area so that is positive! Someone on this forum recommended the book ‘Sex without pain’ by Heather Jeffcoat and the stretches in there have been quite helpful.

My question:
Both times that I have been in physical therapy my sex drive has dropped. I am not having penetrative sex anyway but I do masturbate and have other relations with my partner. There are multiple reasons for this drop(soreness in that area from physical therapy is one). But one of the reasons is that if I orgasm, the muscles tense up a lot and I can’t seem to relax them again afterwards so then it feels like I am going backwards in progress as I am more tight the next time I do my exercises. Is this something that other people experience and, if so, is there something you recommend for it? It is making me not want to do anything sexual as I end up feeling like my progress is going backwards if I do. I’m going to ask my physical therapist about it next time I see her, but I don’t have another appointment for nearly a month.

[Heather]

Hi Jess567!
First of all, congratulations on all your hard work!! You are being so persistent!!

As for the tightness after an orgasm, if your muscles are tightening, maybe you should dilate afterwards. I personally haven’t experienced this but since you have some time before your next appointment, you could see if dilation makes a difference! If you are sore after you could put a warm compress down there or even a cold one! I’ve done both and they have both been very effective in relieving the muscle sorness.

[Jess567]

Yes, dilating afterwards might help. I haven’t tried using a compress down there, good idea!

[recessivegenequeen]

Hi Jess567 – just wanted to say congrats on you making progress in physical therapy! It’s great to hear that you are in way less pain than you were years ago. The part about being tense after orgasm is frustrating I’m sure, and Heather’s advice was good. I’m sure this phenomenon has in some ways contributed to an association between sex and discomfort, which is a tricky mental loop to break. It can also feel like dilating/physical therapy take a lot of work, which can make sex feel like a chore. You’re doing a lot of work right now, but it’s also an investment in a future with less pain that will hopefully take less effort and maintenance. I hope your physical therapist will have additional answers and advice for you, but for now try to give yourself as much grace as possible and recognize how hard you’re working for yourself. It’s something to be proud of!