The dilation process always comes with some discomfort, pain, soreness, burning. When you are stretching the vaginal opening beyond where it is used to, you will feel something. Usually when you are starting a new dilator size, that sensation is more intense. Patients have described it as a pinch, a burn, stretching feeling, and I usually ask my patients to rate the pain on a scale of 0-10. 0 being no pain at all, 10 being the worst pain ever felt. For many of my patients a new dilator size can feel like an 8/10, but usually after continued use, that level of pain/discomfort/burning/pinching, will reduce. I tell patients when they feel that level is around 2-3, and you feel that you are consistently getting the dilator in with some ease, you are probably ready to try the next size. Sometimes a dilator is not completely pain free until you have inserted a dilator bigger. So if you are using size #2, and you still feel some pain with insertion, that might not completely go away until you start working with size #3.
This is why we always recommend dilating larger than your partner’s penis. This way he won’t be painful if you are able to insert something bigger than him.