Success Stories (2)

[Heather34]

There were so many wonderful success stories told so far in this category that we have added a second thread for treated patients to continue to share your success stories. So often, women with vaginismus have suffered for many years in silence, telling no one at all about their condition. It is one of the most wonderful feelings in the world to finally be able to talk openly about this and share stories with other women who understand and have had similar experiences. Please share your stories and I look very forward to reading all of them.

[JeanMarie]

Hi everyone!
Well I’ve never really told my story before and there couldn’t be a better place! My name is Jeannie & I just had Dr. P’s procedure done last Tuesday. Since then, I have achieved penetration (with no thrusting) on Day 4 and I’m certain had I dilated beforehand, it would’ve been a more comfortable experience. But now for the story:
I realized I had vaginismus about 2.5 years ago and although my gynecologist knew what it was, he wasn’t sure how to help. He referred me to a vaginal reconstructive surgeon who knew the condition well. While she mentioned botox as a solution, she was very against it and only shared negative information. She was sure I could be “fixed” with psychotherapy and a type of physical therapy where they would teach me to not tense my muscles. Neither of these appealed to me and so I researched the botox methods myself. I hadn’t come across Dr. P yet, but with her information floating around me I gave up hope for another two years and assumed I would just be able to have sex “when I was ready.” As understanding as the people in my life were, having the condition messed with me on a mental level. Not being able to do something that comes so natural to all those around you does not make you feel normal. My best friend found the Dr. Ps in Cosmo and I was relieved she had read it and recognized my condition because without her, I never would have been where I am now. I immediately contacted the office and was pleasantly surprised to receive a response by the next day. I have NEVER been at such ease among doctor’s & staff as I was in Dr. Pacik’s office, down to Tasha and the anesthesiologist. I had the procedure done last Tuesday and woke up not even feeling the blue dilator inside. This helped incredibly mentally because I KNEW it fit and it made me relax easier when practicing later. I’ve since been best friends with my purple dilator and find the glass No. 5 very easy and comfortable to work with. I know things will only keep progressing for the better and I can’t thank Dr. Pacik and his wonderful, sweet staff enough. I’ve never wanted children, maybe because in the back of my mind I never thought I could be capable of having sex, let alone bearing children. But I’ve since found myself ogling at my cousin’s new twins and looking forward to starting a family someday! =)

[Catherine]

Great story! Thanks so much for sharing.

[Heather34]

Hi JeanMarie! First, huge CONGRATS on completing the procedure and having intercourse! Woooooh! I am so, so happy for you. Second, thank you so, so much for sharing your story with us. I’m sorry about your experience with the vaginal reconstructive surgeon and the negative information and viewpoint about Botox, the one procedure that WORKS!!! I, too, had gynecologists in the past say negative things about it. I wish I could share with every single ‘doubting doctor’ the evidence that it truly does work and this is in the form of being cured myself after struggling for so many years and just the countless other patients who have also been cured from their struggles with vaginismus. I loved reading about how your best friend discovered Dr. Pacik in Cosmo; this led you to make the call and have the procedure; and you are now able to have intercourse just 4-days later. AMAZING!!! And this was able to happen ladies all because one of Dr. P’s previously treated patients decided to share her story and continue to advocate regarding the condition and the treatment that works. Very inspiring. I also really loved what you wrote “I have NEVER been at such ease among doctors & staff as I was in Dr. Pacik’s office.” This is so, so true and for all future patients awaiting treatment, it is truly a team like no other in the world and they go out of there way to make you feel 100% comfortable and just have a special way of reducing your anxiety. Congratulations again Jean Marie and I LOVED reading your post!!!!

[ES]

Hi ladies, I just wanted to share my recent success story. At day 25 post-procedure I was able to have completely pain free intercourse! Before having the procedure I never could have dreamed that this would be possible. To all the women out there who are considering the procedure, please know that it will work for you. I used to think that I would be the only one that the procedure wouldn’t work for, but now I know that’s not true. The procedure really helped me physically, as well as mentally and emotionally. I no longer feel like a freak, or a failure, and for the first time I actually think children might be in my future. Thanks again to Dr. Pacik and his staff for everything they have done for me and my husband!

[Heather34]

Hi ES! Huge CONGRATULATIONS on your tremendous success! This was so wonderful to read and I am so, so happy for you!!!!

[Walker]

Hi everyone! Today was such an amazing day that I am still pinching myself to make sure I am not dreaming! Successful penile penetration on today Day 18 Post Procedure!!!! I just can not believe that I was finally able to have intercourse without pain after almost 8 years of marriage with no penetration! I dilated overnight with the purple and emailed Dr. P to find out a schedule that I could follow in the morning in order to try penetration. Since I started my menstrual last weekend I had to push my plans to try back a whole week. On Day 2 after my procedure when talking to Dr. Pacik he told us that penetration is a lot easier in the mornings because you would have dilated with the purple overnight and in the mornings, you can dilate to the pink and the blue if possible (I have not been able to dilate to the blue yet). Also mornings are good because the male is already erect which will allow transitioning to intercourse a whole lot easier. Since I had just restarted my dilating schedule on Wednesday, I was worried that I would not be able to dilate to Big Blue by the weekend and that would not make it extremely difficult to have penile penetration. So I emailed Dr. P last night explaining my situation and my plans to attempt penetration today. Him being the wonderful and caring doctor that he is, he emailed me back the same day with a plan for the morning! I was so surprised and thrilled to receive an email because I knew that he would guide me in the right direction. (side note: You might ask how can you be so forthcoming with the doctor but he is like no doctor you have ever met. He knows the condition inside out and he is the perfect person to guide you through this condition to success!) The plan was to wake up and dilate to the pink for an hour before trying intercourse. Keep the pink in until you are ready to insert the erect penis. He also told me to have fun with the process and try to relax as much as possible because that would make the attempt be a success. So I woke up early dilated from the purple that I had in overnight to the pink for an hour and 30 min. I then woke up my husband and he was ready to go! 🙂 We tried different positions like when I am dilating first in the squatting position (that did not work) then to the missionary (that did not work) and finally to the doggy-style (which ended in a success)!!!! It is so much better than a dilator! We kept it in for about 5 minutes and he did do so thrusting but it was all pain free!!! I just could not believe it! Pointers to remember: 1. Everyone is different and may not be able to dilate to the blue beforehand so don’t worry just make sure that you dilate for at least an hour with one of the larger dilators; 2. Trust Dr. P and communicate with him about your plans, anxieties, questions and remember to email your dilation logs so that he knows where you are in the process and it also keeps you accountable; 3. Trust yourself and your partner, relax and try to have fun. I could not have done this without my husband who made sure that I was comfortable at the different positions. If it doesn’t work in one position try another! Just don’t give up and it will happen for you!!! Thanks Dr. Pacik and your entire team! You have helped change my life forever!!!!

[Catherine]

Dear, Sweet Walker — I am SO-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Happy For You!!!!! For all reading, Walker and I had the procedure on the same day – just a few short weeks ago. My husband and I are still working through the dilation process, but Walker has given me great hope!! Enjoy that vaca this summer, My Dear. You and your wonderful husband deserve it!!! Practice makes perfect. xoxoxo — Catherine/mj : )

[Walker]

Thanks Catherine! It has been a great journey and I have enjoyed sharing some of it with you! You are correct that practice makes perfect and that is my next journey! This is going to be an enjoyable one to conquer!

[Catherine]

Dear Forum Friends….
Just wanted to share our recent success story with you…

Evidently, there must be something to all of those 4th of July fireworks!! Actually, the real magic –as we all know – is Dr. Pacik. He is really so much more than a plastic surgeon. He is also a skilled therapist and a trusted counselor. My husband and I will forever be in his debt!

Our journey * pre-Dr. Pacik * is detailed in Catherine’s Story (found under Stories in the VaginismusMD website). In short, I was a virgin when I married at 37. For the two years since our summer 2010 wedding, intercourse has (or, as of this writing, HAD) been absolutely impossible. My husband and I started learning about vaginismus some months into our marriage. Based on our initial research, I tried working with dilators and even started using anti-anxiety medication. Nothing worked – until now.

After learning about Dr. Pacik’s work, we scheduled his Botox/Dilation/Counseling procedure for June 12, 2012. As his other patients will attest, Dr. Pacik and the entire team treat his patients with such dignity, respect, and sensitivity. The procedure itself was painless, and the follow-up care – including dilation instruction and related counseling – complete in every way.

Upon our return home (for us – about an eight hour car ride), I resolved to be as diligent as possible with the dilation exercises. This included two hours of daily dilation, as well as overnight “passive” dilation. Dr. Pacik asks each of his patients to send him an updated log each day, so that he can track progress and make appropriate recommendations. Clearly, this kind of monitoring and adjusting makes the follow-up care ideal. I know now that it set us up for success.

Since I was making strides in dilation (eg: anxiety under control, able to dilate up to the “Big Blue,” experimenting with the Candy Stick and XL glass dilators to better align with my husband’s circumference), my husband and I began to think seriously about transitioning to intercourse. However, when we had a second unsuccessful attempt on Day 18 post procedure, our collective anxiety rose considerably. Naturally, we started to worry: What if we were the one couple for whom this just doesn’t work? Was my husband really just too big for me? Is there something in me that unwittingly resists his advances?

Because of the daily communication with Dr. Pacik, our anxieties were quickly addressed. I e-mailed on a Sunday morning , and had specific guidance just a few short hours later. Besides an extensive follow-up e-mail, Dr. Pacik also offered to talk with us prior to our next attempt at intercourse. I don’t think I have ever met a doctor so committed to helping his patients. My husband and I talked long distance with Dr. Pacik for over an hour, the night before a national holiday. At that time, the doctor provided specific sexual counseling – even suggesting a position that might work for us. (Who knew?!?) He also gently facilitated a conversation around arousal and the significance of learning about and satisfying our partner’s respective needs. Such delicate items to discuss – yet, I’m learning, so vital. Truth be told: if I thought I was “exposed” in Dr. Pacik’s operating room a few short weeks ago, nothing prepared me for this form of vulnerability. Without a doubt, sexual intercourse is a mind-body-heart expression involving two total persons. Every aspect of both persons needs to be healthy (or at least as “healthy” as possible) in order for sex to be fulfilling and joyful.

Physically speaking, that night I followed a relatively aggressive dilation. Slept with the pink dilator (about 5 or 6 hours) and then dilated to the blue for about 90 minutes. We had also ordered a larger glass dilator – per an earlier suggestion from Dr. Pacik, and I dilated with that for about 30 minutes.

In full disclosure, my husband has also been struggling with erectile disfunction (ED), perhaps a consequence of his own health issues, but perhaps a result of the vaginismus. I share this because – obviously – this concern also need(ed) to be addressed along the way. While he is under another doctor’s care, his use of ED-medication (Viagra) was also key to our shared success. So… while I finished the dilation rotation, my husband took his medication, as well.

Emotionally or romantically speaking, my husband and I became more intimate, and then prepared for intercourse. While we had discussed keeping our goal for our “morning date” relatively modest (ie.: entry only), my husband was able – after just a few tries – to enter me, thrust, and achieve orgasm. There was minimal pain, just the sense of being “stretched” on the inside. Needless to say: this was no small victory. Even as I write this, it all seems quite surreal.

Moving forward… my husband and I recognize that there are many, many more steps on this journey. We have heard from other patients that sometimes the next attempt may not be as successful (at least in these beginning days). But we are committed to working on this together, to building the best possible intimate relationship, and the best possible marriage. Our sexuality is a great gift… one we give each other … and one the other gives us. (And – for far too long — it was a gift that had gone unwrapped!)

One final note… I shared this recent success story with a dear friend of mine earlier today. She asked me if the “end game” was conception, a baby. While my husband and I do love children and hope to build a family together, it seemed so clinical – and, on a variety of levels, so wrong – to call conception our “end game.” The communication and intimacy found inside our marriage has grown so much in the last few months, weeks, days – all in this effort to build a shared sexual life. I dare say THAT quiet, secret, closeness & vulnerability – being known and loved and accepted and adored & then knowing and loving someone in that same way – THAT is our “end game.” There are no fireworks that compare to that.

Please know that we are more than happy to correspond and/or talk with anyone struggling with these issues. Thanks to so many of Dr. Pacik’s patients who paved the way for us. You inspired us, and gave us the courage to pursue this journey. We are so very, very grateful.

[Heather34]

HUGE CONRATULATIONS to Walker and Catherine!!!! You’re stories were so, so touching to read and will inspire so many! EXCELLENT JOB!!!!

[Walker]

Congratulations Catherine!!!! Both me and my husband are so proud of you two! It has been a great journey knowing that we have connected with other couples who have experienced our story and have victoriously overcome vaginismus!!! I want to encourage you and every woman who is either in the early stages of getting comfortable with intercourse or who is just reading the forum and still suffering with vaginismus. This is the procedure that will change your life forever! Not only do you overcome vaginismus but you are able to communicate a lot better as my dear friend Catherine so poetically comented on. I can’t thank Dr. Pacik and his entire team enough for all that they have done and the friendships and bonds we have discovered on this road of recovery. Keep moving forward Catherine and dont get discouraged! Your relationship is developing daily with not only sex but also a deeper level of communication which is key. Keep me posted on your future endeavors and I wish you and your hubby the best! Much love to you.

[Elizabeth]

WOW….I’m so excited! My husband and I were able to have partial penetration tonight. I did have some pain but it was bearable and I’m hoping that over time and dilation that will get much better. Tonight was our first try at penetration since the procedure at Dr. Pacik’s office and I must say I was very nervous. We were able to penetrate approx. three inches with some movement on my part. We still have lots of work to do but I feel very positive.

[Heather34]

HUGE CONGRATULATIONS Elizabeth. This is wonderful, wonderful news!!!!

[Elizabeth]

Yesterday, on day 264 post botox procedure I was able to have pain free intercourse. My husband and I are over the moon and sooo excited!! Here are some details of my journey. I am a menopausal, secondary vaginismus patient of Dr. Pacik’s and had the botox procedure in Dec., 2012. My husband and I had intercourse on day 19 & 25 post procedure, but it was painful for me. Up to that point I had built up to dilating for one hour with pink #5 without pain. I had tried #6 without success. I realized that, for me, I would have to build up slowly dilating with #6 to have comfortable intercourse. I struggled with this for months and my self-confidence plunged. Was I ever going to be able to build up to #6? Slowly it became more comfortable for me, until finally I was able to dilate successfully with #6 for one hour without pain. Now I had the self confidence to try intercourse again with my husband. We both decided that if our attempt was unsuccessful, we would keep trying and we should just give it a go. Right before intercourse, I dilated with #4 for 15 mins., then #5 for one hour and finally #6 for one hour. Immediately after that we had intercourse. Penetration was so easy this time and completely pain free!! I really could not believe it! Me being on top helped with my self confidence as I could control the amount and intensity of the thrusting. We built up to medium thrusting without any problem or pain. One of the things I have learned on this journey is to NEVER give up. It doesn’t matter how many months it takes to reach your goal, keep trying and you will be successful! I’m so grateful that I can now have a complete, intimate closeness with my husband again. 😀

I want to thank Dr. Pacik and his team for all their encouragement, kindness and support. I am so grateful to have found you. Hugs! 🙂