Tearing with sex?!

[cactuslover]

Hi! So I’m just finishing my freshman year of college and earlier this year I lost my virginity. Although when it happened, we stopped very quickly because I was bleeding a ton. It was really strange and I looked down there with a mirror and saw an actual tear at the crevice of the bottom of my vaginal opening. (The bleeding wasn’t my hymen as I believe that had broken from various things in the past) I always use tampons and sometimes menstrual cups with little to no issue so things can get in there. Since my first time I’ve tried several more times (including adding lube, making sure there’s foreplay, and making sure I’m aroused enough) but unfortunately it is still happening every time I have sex (hasn’t been the same person each time so it’s not an anatomical thing). Luckily in the moment I’m not in pain, but I can sometimes tell when tearing is happening and it’s more the after effects that are a pain. It doesn’t bleed as much as the first time, but I always tear and due to the cut it burns when I urinate for a few days and the area is more sensitive. Plus ya know I have to fully heal before I can have sex again which is unfortunate. Any ideas what could be causing this or how to help it?!

[recessivegenequeen]

Hi cactuslover – so sorry to hear you’re having this experience! I’m glad you don’t notice this happening during sex, but having lingering pain for days afterward SUCKS.

I think your first step should be to schedule a gynecologist appointment if you haven’t already done so. A gyno is your most likely resource in diagnosing any issues with your vagina’s size, tissue, etc. and recommending the right solution. We’ve had other people on the forums mention this same issue and get prescribed things like estrogen creams to strengthen their vaginal walls or other people being recommended to dilate, so that is your best path for figuring out more specifically where to start with the problem-solving.

Let us know how it goes – I hope this problem is short-lived for you!

[cactuslover]

Thank you for the response and info, I appreciate it! I recently went to the gyno and they took a swab to test for excess yeast or bacteria cause it could be causing the tissue to have a harder time healing. I haven’t heard back yet, but she said that’s like our first step in figuring this out. Hopefully I’ll get some answers soon or ways I can help it!

[mazemelissa]

Hi Cactuslover,

I think checking for any infection is a good first step.

There are some dermatological conditions that can sometimes make the tissue more friable, the most common is called Lichen Sclerosis, so I would ask your gynecologist to rule that out.

I am not sure if you are on birth control pills, but that can make the tissue at the vaginal entrance more friable as well in some women. If you are on birth control, sometimes using a local hormone cream applied to the vaginal entrance regularly can be helpful.

I would make sure you are using a really good lubricant, maybe try a hybrid lubricant or a silicone lubricant, to reduce friction.

Melissa

[Hello676]

I have a reoccurrent posterior forcheutte tear that makes it impossible to have sex. Sometimes I refrain from sex for 4-6 months and I gently massage the area and it’s still painful, tender, sensitive, burning type sensation. I’ve been so many specialists and they haven’t helped. Im on birth control but have been for 10+ years and this has only happened for the last 2 years

[cactuslover]

Okay so update from my last post. I went to my regular doctor to talk about this issue (not gyno) because I hadn’t heard back from them and there wasn’t any excess yeast or bacteria they found.

My doctor checked me for Lichen Sclerosis and said it wasn’t that and everything looks normal down there. However she said the same thing about how my estrogen may be lower due to birth control pills. So, we switched to a high dosage rather than the lower one I was on (she said for some reason that helps most people?) and I’ve been on that for 2 1/2 weeks now. Unfortunately, I feel like I am even more sensitive down there now.

I haven’t had sex in a little bit cause I’m not physically near the person I’ve been seeing, but even from going to the bathroom it feels like I’m stretching some of the skin and tissue down there. It just gets irritated so easily. And I did take a peak cause I felt this one uncomfy spot, and somehow I have a tear along the crease of my outer labia. I have no idea how this happened or when it happened, but I’m just like ugh I have a feeling it’s all related and I’m just so done with it at this point.

I’m thinking now I’m going to see my gyno again and talk about getting a copper iud so my hormones can regulate on their own and get hopefully higher estrogen levels but i can still have protection from pregnancy.

[cactuslover]

I’m so sorry to hear you’re dealing with this too. I just looked up the spot you mentioned and that’s exactly where I tear too. My gyno said that’s actually the most common spot for tearing with sex. Have you thought about trying some pelvic floor strengthening exercises? I know a lot of people do things like that to help and since this is more sudden maybe it could help?

[recessivegenequeen]

Hi cactuslover – I’m so sorry to hear that you’re still having issues! it definitely sounds like the hormones are having some kind of negative effect, so looking into an IUD sounds like a good idea. I’m 30 years old and I’ve also had to contend with the fact that there are ways my body has changed in the past couple of years that just seem to be a part of aging, so it’s common for something that’s never been a problem to suddenly not work for our bodies anymore, which is VERY frustrating. I hope you’ll keep looking into answers and treatments, because you don’t deserve to be in as much discomfort as you’re experiencing! There can be lots of causes of vaginal pain, from skin irritation to nerve issues to vaginismus to still more conditions, so just because one doctor doesn’t have the answers doesn’t mean none of them do!