Terrified

[Belleruth]

Hi all. I have menopausal Vaginismus. I have been suffering for 9 years with no help. I saw a urogyno and he said I might have IC but my bladder looks good. He put me through drugs for IC and also Physical Therapy. Nothing helped me. I gave up and have been dealing with trying to live this way and loosing the intimacy with my husband. I ended up getting a new insurance and had to seek other doctors. Since I was “starting over” with new doctors I decided to pursue help again. I saw another urogyno. He diagnosised me right away. Put me on a steroid cream, estrogen and lidocaine cream. I was unable to get the estrace applicator in. Saw him again and he said he thinks I should try botox injections. He told me the side effects that “could’ happen. Incontinence both urine and bowel, also not being able to pee and having to cath myself. He said this might happen because some of the botox does get to the bladder. I’m terrified to try this. I’m hoping some of you can answer my question: If you had the injections just in your pelvic floor and vagina, did you have any of those side effects he mentioned?? Thanks in advance! So happy I found this site.

[recessivegenequeen]

Hi Belleruth, I know I answered your question on a different thread specifically about the side effects (I had none) but I wanted to reiterate here that while it’s scary to consider what could go wrong, there’s so, SO much that can go right about it. I understand your impulse to close the chapter of your life that represents intimacy with your husband – I had vaginismus since I was young and there were many periods of my life where it seemed safer to just say I would never have that connection with someone than to open myself to the unknowns of seeking treatment. But I’m nearly 2 years post-botox procedure and it’s one of the best things I’ve ever done. It was emotional and physical work to get botox and dilate, but the intimacy I can now have with people was so worth the wait. Even if you decide that botox isn’t the right treatment for you, I hope that you won’t only make that decision because of the potential (and mostly unlikely) side effects. There’s more intimacy available in your future, I can see it.

[Belleruth]

Thank you so much for your encouraging words. I talked to my doctor about my anxiety about this and he told me there is only a 1% change of the side effects that I’m afraid of. So I’m going for it! Sept 13. And I will work hard to get better. I’ve already got a physical therapy appointment set post Botox.

[recessivegenequeen]

That’s amazing, Belleruth! I’m so glad to hear you’re going ahead with it! Please keep us updated on your progress – we’re rooting for you.

[Sks823]

Belleruth,

Good luck with the procedure and definitely keep us updated! I’m so glad the doc assuaged your fears about the side effect!

[Cathleen Kneidl, RPA-C]

Hi Belleruth was just reading the thread and wondering how you were doing! Hope everything went well.

[Belleruth]

Hello! Well, I survived the procedure with no lingering side effects that I was afraid of. I am so very glad I did the procedure. At 2 weeks post botox injection I started physical therapy. It’s been several weeks now. I am doing well in PT and using the dilators at home on my own. I couldn’t believe it when I was able (with breathing) get the smallest dilator in all the way! Since then I have moved up to the next size. It’s still a sensitive but I’m able to do it!!!! I’m thrilled. I have hope now that I will be able to have intercourse with my husband. It’s been almost 9 years! I see my urogyno at the end of Nov. He will decide whether I should get another injection not. Hope not. This has been expensive but worth it too. So I don’t know what he will say. My goal is to get up two more sizes with the dilator before I see my doctor. Thanks for checking in. I will post again in about a month. 🙂

[Cathleen Kneidl, RPA-C]

Congratulations and keep on dilating. So happy you are doing well. Hope you continue to do well!

[recessivegenequeen]

Belleruth, this is fantastic! I’m so glad it went as well as it did – keep at it and you’ll keep seeing progress! Please do keep us updated, it’s so great to hear how hard you’re working. Pulling for you to be able to have sex with your husband soon!