Transition

[Hope]

Hi

[Hope]

Hi,
I have already achieved dilating with no 6 glass dilator, my partner is around no 6 as well, I find it really hard to use dilator 7 to go one size larger than him,even I tried hard but not stretching more than 6.
We have been Trying for actual intercourse with no success.
Not sure what is the issue but I have been dilating with no 6 glass dilator daily and stretched enough but still can’t make it.
Please any suggestions.

[recessivegenequeen]

Hello Hope! The last dilator in a set – the one that’s bigger than most actual penises – is usually the one that stumps most women for the longest. Since it’s bigger than most penises you’ll encounter, it usually takes extra preparation.

One good tip for getting in the 7 is to start with the 6 for a few minutes to get yourself more stretched before switching over to the 7. That usually helps the larger one slide in with less resistance than if you try to start your session with the 7. Also, the largest size might NEVER feel comfortable – since it’s so big it will probably just feel weird, so if that happens, you aren’t necessarily doing anything wrong.

As for intercourse, I suspect that it’ll be possible to have it soon.I recommend as a transitional activity that you involve your partner with the dilation process if you haven’t already. Have him insert a smaller dilator size that you’re comfortable with to get you both more comfortable with this process, and often that kind of bonding makes intercourse itself easier.

Hope it helps!

[Hope]

Thanks for the reply.
I think I have issue with understanding best position.
Does women on top really work? For first time?

[recessivegenequeen]

Woman on top has always been my favorite position – it’s a good one because you can be in control of the range of motion (depth, speed, etc.), and that control is really useful when you’re first starting to have sex. As you get more comfortable, other positions will become a lot more comfortable, but that’s a good starting one. Traditional missionary isn’t bad either as long as your partner goes slowly and you give a lot of guidance. I would expressly DISCOURAGE certain positions like from behind, as those can be really intense too quickly.

[Hope]

Thank you for your advice.
Don’t know how to overcome this nervousness when I am used to of glass dilator 6 even and can use no. 7 half way.
Still not successful what a shame🙁
No position seems working.

[Nicole Tammelleo, MA, LCSW]

Hello Hope,

Congrats on getting to the #7 dilator. That is a very large dilator, so it might take a bit more time to get used to it, and you may want to dilate a bit more before trying sex again. I know how frustrating this whole process can be, but try and remember how much work you have done. Please try and let go of that shame, and try and say kind things to yourself.

[recessivegenequeen]

I want to second what Nicole said – you have accomplished SO MUCH already. I know that you are probably impatient. Most of us undergoing treatment have waited so long to be able to have sex with our partners, but it will happen, just on a timeline you can’t anticipate yet. The sexual journey is long, even once you’ve started being able to have intercourse. Be patient with yourself, keep dilating, and open yourself to whatever possibilities happen!

[Hope]

Thank you for all your support and advice, I have reached so far only because of this forum, before this I was even scared of tampon, now I am able to dilate with No 6.
Hopefully one day I could achieve intercourse.

[recessivegenequeen]

Hope, you’ve already come so far. You’re so close now – keep pushing toward your goal!

[Sks823]

Hope,

I know you’ll get there eventually. You’ve made so much progress already and should feel so proud of yourself!

I agree that using #6 for a bit before going to #7 should help. Other tips: using a lot of lube, deep breathing, and going VEEEERY slowly when trying #7.

Have you tried putting in any of the dilators (#6 or another that you’re comfortable with) standing up or in another position besides the one you’re used to (probably laying on back with legs spread)? Maybe using dilators in other positions/angles/etc could help you with your journey to actual intercourse.

Keep us updated!