Transition ! Dilators to sex – Help with sizes

[IcePenguin]

Hey there !
I’m currently on my last dilator (4.0 cm of diameter). I can move it comfortably, but my partner is around 4.4-4.5 cm. Will I be okay to trabnsition or I need a bigger dilator before transitioning? Any tip would be great 🙂

[recessivegenequeen]

Personally I felt like it was really helpful for my transition to interourse to have gotten comfortable with a dilator that was larger than my partner’s penis because it helped me to KNOW I could accomodate something of that size, but it really depends on the person. I would recommend that if you’re comfortable with the dilators but just not able to make the transition after a few attempts to your partner’s penis that you try finding a larger dilator to work with. I hope it helps!

[IcePenguin]

Thanks !
We’re long distance and able to see for a few days now sadly 🙁 so we don’t have enough time to just try like we’ve done before haha

We tried when I was at 3.5 of diameter and nothing happened; when i got to 3.8 of diameter (last of the vaginismus . com set) we could get half of it.
Now I don’t know yet.

Maybe I should get to 4.5 cm just to be sure, like adding 0.5 cm / 1.19 inches of diameter doesn’t sound that hard now that I am already there on the biggest ones haha

any tips from transition though :O? My PT just left me when i got to the dilator of 3.5 cm / 1.37 inches

[recessivegenequeen]

IcePenguin, that’s challenging! I do think that a few centimeters can still make a difference when you’re dilating and still getting used to the feeling of penetration. I would think that ESPECIALLY since you can’t see your partner as often it might be good to try to get a larger dilator to work with so that when you DO get to see him, you feel even more prepared to try since you can’t attempt penetration as regularly. But you know your own level of confidence better than anyone, so go with your gut in the end!

[IcePenguin]

oops I mean 0.79 inches and not 1.79 in my last post haha

I might try, thank you ! I could not find a brand of 4.5 cm / 1.77 inches of diameter, so a toy it is hahha

Also did you dilate inmediatedly before trying PIV or a few hours before or how does that even works :O? or like since you’re “used” to that size you did not need dilating prior to it?

[Jennifer Dembo, LCSW]

Hi IcePenguin,

Our protocol at Maze echoes what recessivegenequeen said – insertion of a dilator that is larger than your partner’s penis ensures that you’ll have the confidence in your ability to have intercourse. Let us know if you need more resources, and I wish you the best of luck!

[Jennifer Dembo, LCSW]

Hi IcePenguin,

Our protocol at Maze echoes what recessivegenequeen said – insertion of a dilator that is larger than your partner’s penis ensures that you’ll have the confidence in your ability to have intercourse. Let us know if you need more resources, and I wish you the best of luck!

[IcePenguin]

Thanks ! I just have one question… How much bigger than my partner should the dilator be?

[mazemelissa]

It does not need to be significantly larger, even a few mm can make a difference between pain and no pain.

This vibrator from the Sinclair Institute is pretty big, and for most of my patients with large partners it does the trick:

https://www.sinclairinstitute.com/sp-inspire-silicone-vibrator-14761.aspx

Hope this helps.

Melissa

[IcePenguin]

Thanks! I’ll look for something similar here as that one doesn’t send to my country haha

Isn’t there any problem as it is not regular? like on the biggest zones is 2 inches but the others look quite small 😮

[mazemelissa]

Women seem to like that it has different zones, they can work through the first zone, and then when ready work on zone 2.

[IcePenguin]

I got a regular one with a tip of 4.5 til’ a base of 5.0cm (2 inches)
And it worked ! I had almost zero problem getting it in since I already was doing stretching to add more space with my current one

Is there any post about how to transition to piv? I looked around but could not find much about how to do it (like ideal position and such)

[recessivegenequeen]

Hi Icepenguin – there’s definitely some posts around the forum about transitioning to intercourse, but the advice I would give is to dilate immediately beforehand with the dilator that is larger than your partner’s penis and use lots of lube. For me the best starting position was on top of my partner; it gives you maximum control on the depth of insertion when you’re first starting out, though the missionary position is also good as it simulates how you often feel when lying on your back while dilating.

Hope it helps! Let me know if you have other questions.