Trouble Down There

[Heather34]

Hi ladies. I came across a recent article in Salon.com that chronicles a woman with the sexual pain condition of vulvodynia. While it is very different from the condition of vaginismus, it still a great article to read:

http://www.salon.com/2003/09/04/vulvodynia/

Excerpts from the article include:

“Leslie tried creams, topical acid, surgery, horse tranquilizers — even denial — but for more than 10 years, nothing would stop the pain. She ended a relationship, stopped having sex, filled in the gaps in her social life with gay men. Why? Because Leslie (not her real name), a 34-year-old corporate lawyer in Manhattan, suffers from, arguably, the most uncomfortable kind of discomfort: genital pain.”

And

“Leslie credits her psychologist with getting her to recommit to addressing the pain in the first place. “I had gone radio silent on the whole thing, hopeless. I decided I was just not gonna talk about that part of my life,” she says. “I got very discouraged. I felt like I was taking all these drugs, using all these creams, schlepping down to Philadelphia all the time [to see a specialist], and nothing was working. I didn’t want to deal with it anymore,” she says — not even in therapy. When talking about being single, Leslie recalls, “My therapist would say, ‘But you’re attractive and fun,’ and I’d say, ‘I think it’s about my mom.’ Finally I said, ‘Well, there is this one thing …,’ and he was, like, ‘You’ve gotta be … kidding me. You have to take care of this.’ He pushed me until I did.”

While attending college in my early 20s, I can remember feeling like Leslie, and just wanting to remain silent on the whole issue of vaginismus. I would date different people and always end up breaking up with them when we became very close as I knew it would eventually lead to intimacy and I didn’t want to tell anyone what I was going through. I honestly didn’t even know what it was myself at the time and just knew that every single time I tried to have intercourse, it felt like my partner was hitting a wall and it would end with extreme embarrassment on my part and never speaking to this person again following our failed attempt. While this is all in my past now, it’s very hard for me to write about because it was such a painful thing to experience. I want all of you reading this right now to know that there is hope and a cure for this condition with this procedure. I wish so much that I had learned about it while in college instead of remaining silent and seriously believing that somehow, it would just fix itself and go away on its own in time. I never knew how it would go away and by avoiding it, the condition had even more control over my life. I thank God every day that this treatment is available so no other woman has to suffer in silence for even a day longer with it.

[Heather34]

Sometimes, when a new inquiry contacts Dr. P, they ask the question: I am single, am I still a candidate for Botox treatment? He responds: “We have a number of single women who have been treated with the Botox program for vaginismus. These women continue with their dilation program until they meet someone they are comfortable with. In some ways this is easier for the woman in that there is less time pressure to become successful with intercourse.” For the veterans, what advice do you have for single patients considering having treatment?