Update: Almost 2 years post procedure

[Allie]

It’s hard to believe that October will be 2 years since I was in New Hampshire getting treatment. Almost 6 years of marriage without being able to have sex with my husband. Sleepless nights, medications, pelvic floor therapy, seeing counselors, researching online, putting on that fake smile, and not even knowing who I was anymore. Vaginismus consumed me. It controlled my every thought, every second of the day.

Here I am today though. I have a beautiful 8 month old baby boy! I am doing great with my dilating(yes, I still dilate). I think its still an emotional thing in my head. I’m not sure if I really need to, but doing it just reassures me that I am in control of my body. After having my son I was so scared the first time I went to dilate. But I always remember Dr. Pacik saying just start with the smallest and work up! So thats what I did! I am able to wear tampons and be intimate with my husband.

I find myself feeling guilty at times. Life is so crazy busy now with my baby boy. I forget the hell I went through to get where I am now. I know I need to be more involved on the forum and spreading the word on how my vaginismus was treated. I don’t have to live to just get through the day anymore. I actually want to think about my future and all the wonderful things that await! My husband is already trying to convince me to start trying for another baby! Ha!

We(my husband & I) think about Dr. Pacik often and how he forever changed our lives. I have tears in my eyes now just looking at my son playing and knowing that if it wasn’t for Dr. P and God’s grace that we would not have him. My journey with vaginismus is over. It was the worst time of my life but it has made me the woman, the wife, and the mother that I am today.

“there may be pain in the night, but joy comes in the morning..”

[KatieG07]

Allie,

Your post gave me tears. Good tears I’m happy things happened for you and your husband. I know we all deal with a lot having V. I had my procedure on 6/9 and I stick to my dialating daily it’s part of my routine after work. We just got over the hump of having sex on my 1 month anniversary of procedure. It was a night of huge celebrating. Now we are working on timing in my end period wise and planning for that baby we’ve been begging for for years. I can’t wait for the day I know I’m going to be a mommy! (Month 1 of sex after procedure I wasn’t successful got my period but that’s ok) I think of this whole baby making process so different then before my procedure. My hubby (married 7 years this Sept 8th) and I are 32 so I feel like I don’t have much time yet I know I am still young and have to get that out of my head. We tried for years to have a baby but my husband could get in me to a point and hit that wall most V patients talk about. It caused stress and lots of arguments and tears. Now things are different we seem way more excited and happy and I feel less stressed about this baby making!!!!

I believe what you say if it wasn’t for finding Dr. P I wouldn’t be where I am today or who I am today!!! I congratulate you and hope you start trying soon for that baby 😉

Allie where are you from? I actually think stress was lifted off my chest since I live 8 mins from the office. What a relief. I hope to hear and read more posts from you. It’s always fun to meet new woman who have delta with the same issues you have.

Katie

[KatieG07]

Allie,

Your post gave me tears. Good tears I’m happy things happened for you and your husband. I know we all deal with a lot having V. I had my procedure on 6/9 and I stick to my dialating daily it’s part of my routine after work. We just got over the hump of having sex on my 1 month anniversary of procedure. It was a night of huge celebrating. Now we are working on timing in my end period wise and planning for that baby we’ve been begging for for years. I can’t wait for the day I know I’m going to be a mommy! (Month 1 of sex after procedure I wasn’t successful got my period but that’s ok) I think of this whole baby making process so different then before my procedure. My hubby (married 7 years this Sept 8th) and I are 32 so I feel like I don’t have much time yet I know I am still young and have to get that out of my head. We tried for years to have a baby but my husband could get in me to a point and hit that wall most V patients talk about. It caused stress and lots of arguments and tears. Now things are different we seem way more excited and happy and I feel less stressed about this baby making!!!!

I believe what you say if it wasn’t for finding Dr. P I wouldn’t be where I am today or who I am today!!! I congratulate you and hope you start trying soon for that baby 😉

Allie where are you from? I actually think stress was lifted off my chest since I live 8 mins from the office. What a relief. I hope to hear and read more posts from you. It’s always fun to meet new woman who have delta with the same issues you have.

Katie

[Dr. Pacik]

Thanks Allie for posting this. One of my great joys is to get pictures of the kids as they grow up. You have a wonderful little bundle that keeps getting cuter!…and he is such a boy!

[Allie]

Thank you Katie! Congrats to you! Sounds like you’re doing very well with dilating & etc! That’s so great that you live so close to the office!! I live in Florida.:) I know it’s hard to not stress about getting pregnant, but look how far you’ve come! Just enjoy each other & it will happen when it’s supposed to!! Praying for many blessings for you and your hubby!

[kelseroo]

Your post made me cry too Allie! You expressed so beautifully how so many of us feel about Dr. Pacik and treatment. I’m so happy for you:-)

[Allie]

Thank you Kelseroo:)

[galaxygal]

Allie – your post just made my day!! 🙂

[mayra]

Allie, thank you for posting this, it has really encouraged me. My last couple of years were exactly the same with my husband and I trying for a baby but then hitting that “wall” and me always ending up in tears! But now just a month after my procedure I was finally able to insert my #6 dilators and I finally see a light a the end of the tunnel. I pray that one say soon I will also be watching my own little one playing on the floor and remembering to be thankful to Dr. Pacik and God for him or her.

[hereisnowhy]

Allie, what wonderful news!!! I am so happy that the procedure worked exactly as planned!! 😀 I had my procedure on 6/16/14 and I was able to achieve intercourse with my boyfriend after 3 weeks. I am a secondary vaginismus patient who was able to have painfree intercourse for several years, but about 4.5 years ago it started to hurt. It got worse and worse until my long-term boyfriend and I were still able to have sex, but it was so painful and miserable for me that we just didn’t do it. Dilating has been going really well for me and I keep to the schedule that Dr. Pacik told us all to do. I have a question for you if you don’t mind me asking – the first time you had sex, was it completely pain free? Because we have had sex a handful of times since the procedure and it’s never pain free. It’s a lot LESS pain than I have felt in years, but still pain throughout the whole act. Am wondering, from a seasoned, cured vaginismus veteran, if you had a similar experience or if you were just pain free immediately? Does the pain truly go away?! :/

[Allie]

Thank you galaxy gal!:)

Huge congrats to you Mayra on using #6! Sounds like you are doing awesome!!!:) I look forward to reading about your continued success!

Herisnowhy- hi!:) it was definitely not pain free the first couple times. There was definitely more discomfort. At first the initial insertion stressed me out, I dreaded it. Sometimes it would take us a while to fully insert. We would just do a little at a time. Once he was fully inserted I would just have to relax(or try to relax anyway) for a minute without movement. When it came to thrusting and etc it helped me to be in charge at first. He would just sort of follow me. With each time it got better & better! I must say though that there are times now when there is some discomfort but as things “progress” there is ZERO discomfort! It will get better!!! Hope this helps, let me know if you have any more questions!

[Becca]

I love this post! Thank you, Allie! I had my procedure in February and got pregnant the first time we had successful intercourse. Since then we have not been able to have intercourse again (though I still use my dilators) because I have just had a rough go of things with this pregnancy. I would love to hear more about your dilating and all of that post-baby because I, too, am terrified of this! My sweet little one is due in January, a little less than 11 months post-procedure. 🙂

[hereisnowhy]

Allie, thank you so much for your response! I appreciate you taking the time to answer! Your info definitely helped! I am glad to know that the discomfort DOES go away, that’s great to know 🙂 I hope things continue to go so well for you!!

[K Howard]

Allie, I’m so very happy to see this post from you. Such kind and truthful words about Dr. Pacik and his staff. I can remember meeting with you prior to your procedure and praying for you. To look now at how far you’ve come just gives me such joy 🙂 The little one is such a cutie and I can’t wait to see what other blessings – more babies 🙂 are in store for you and your family! Take care!

[Allie]

Congrats Becca! I am so happy for you, being a mother is the most amazing thing. I didn’t start up dilating again until my son was about 3months. I was so exhausted and it just wasn’t a priority. Please don’t stress about it! You will be so busy getting to know your new baby, just soak it all in!:) I promise you once you all get settled with the baby and on a routine you will be able to find time to start dilating! And trust me, you will be so amazed at yourself for delivering this baby that you will feel empowered!!:) I was so terrified the first time and I just started small & worked my way up! You will do amazing! Enjoy these last months being pregnant!:)

K Howard- I am so incredibly happy for you!! I absolutey can not wait to see pictures of your baby boy!!! I was just telling my mom the other day “remember the woman I met before my
procedure, well she’s pregnant!!” My mom even had tears! 🙂