Vaginismus new patient

[Sandhya]

Hello there. Making this decision to write in this Forum and talking about my Vaginismus is definitely first step to the goal. Vaginismus effecting my life in negativ way. I’m going through a lot mentally and emotionally. I have always use pads from my first period I was never comfortable using tampons or insect anything.I really tried hard to use tampons but every time I end up with unbearable pain like it’s not possible.i have really bad anxiety and I’m so sensitive down there.i always though I’ll be fine by the time. I was always so scared to talk about this with my friends,sisters and even with mom as is was so complicated to explain. What about if they make fun of me? Is this normal? why I can’t do the things I want? Is there any treatments for my problem? Will I be cured? Those questions killed me everyday. I have spend so many nights worrying about this.by the time I stopped thinking about it idk why I just felt like I’ll not think about it I’ll just focus on what’s important for me right now. I wasn’t able to go out and find out about my condition. I’m from very strict family.i wasn’t allowed to go out myself.I wasn’t working and I didn’t had money for the treatments all I could do is stop thinking about it. I simply gave up.honestly I still feel regret about my decision.at least I would have take a chance and talked to my mom. Anyway so there comes this day when I got married with my bestfriend.we were in long distance relationship so we never had any sexual activity’s until we met for the first time. I always felt so scared about sex or insecting anything inside me my anxiety play a big role even talking about this topic.after so many try for intercrouse I always ended with so much pain like unbearable,unbearabl.i try to relax I take a glass of wine we talked about good times we took warm bath together and when I finally feel like okay I’m ready.. and we tried it again. All anxiety ,fears, pain and athe feelings of being failures and incompetent comes back again and again. I feel bad for him that I’m not good wifely I can’t give him what he wants,needs. And he feels he’s hurting me every time we tried. This is really frustrating. We both decided to see gynecologist I wasn’t able to give pelvic exam it hurts really bad.my gynecologist suggested me to see physical therapist but I didn’t get that much help from there too. I was all over in internet searching for its treatment. If not thousands I emailed and called hundreds of gynecologist who treats Vaginismus. sadly I did not get any positive response.they suggested me relaxed and have a glass of wine and all it just doesn’t work for me even if I’m so relaxed.one day after long time of research i got into this website where so many Women’s are talking about the exact problem that I’m going through for really long time. I literally cried reading all those stories they were going through.i got soo much hope reading successful Stories that was treated from maze Women’s Health. This is really great it’s a lifesaver treatment so many women around us are suffering from this pain about not everyone comes up to talk about it.girls don’t keep this inside you like I did Vaginismus can take really bad role in your life if we have an opportunity for a effective treatment why to waste time by bleaming yourself.being depressed and killing your feelings.. I recently heard about this treatment I feel so dumb about myself for not taking it seriously when I first find out what was wrong with me.but now I’m not gonna let it win this is my time. I’ll not give up I want to happy I want to have family with him. He’s always there for me.he understand what I’m going through and I’m so lucky to have him as my partner.good news is i have filled up the form that I got from maze for this treatment. I really hope I’ll get the closest appointment I’m trying to get it done on my short vacation on April.hopefully I’ll be soon writing a successful stories to inspire other women who’s suffering like me. Thank you maze Women’s Health for this treatment. Can’t wait to see you:)lastly I’m sorry for this long message and please guys excuse my bad English 😉 I’m trying to improve it as well.lol

[Helen Leff, LCSW]

Sandhya!
Glad to see you on The Forum.
Good for you! We at Maze can’t wait to see you too!
Vaginismus can be overcome and the Botox procedure and consistent dilation post Botox is key to your treatment. It’s a collaborative effort and know that you are not alone.
See you soon,
Helen

[recessivegenequeen]

Sandhya – I’ve messaged you elsewhere on the forums but I just wanted to tell you that you should NOT feel dumb for the length of time your journey has taken you or the feelings you’ve had along the way. Vaginismus is a scary and emotional thing to confront and it can take time to gather the strength to face it. What matters is that you’ve chosen to make a change NOW and are taking control of your life through this. You have the strength to do it and have a wonderful partner by your side – that’s amazing, and I think you’ll be so happy you did this a few months down the road.