WE DID IT!!

[Alyx]

WE DID IT, WE DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m soo ecstatic!!! I just want to shout HALLELUJAH!!! We did it last night finally!! – On Thanksgiving night – how ironic is that!!! It took several attempts, but we did it!! I don’t even remember the last time I dilated and we didn’t have any of the lube that I love or anything!! I’m sooo grateful!! I’ve been praying for this for 7 years!!! (that’s how long we’ve been married).

Had my procedure over a year ago… I got extremely discuraged after several months passed and I’d been dilating and we’d been trying everything and nothing seemed to work for us. I truely thought I was the one person this procedure wouldn’t work for. I became super depressed and everything. Then last night we didn’t even expect much to happen and boom!! It did!! We still have to work on the thrusting, but that’s ok… got it all the way in!! I cried like 3 or 4 times – and we just sat there for I promise like over 30 minutes!!! I did some kegals and stuff to try to get used to how he felt instead of the dilators! God is sooo good!!

Please Please Please don’t get discouraged!! Just when we weren’t expecting it, it happened!! You can do it ladies!! Don’t get depressed like me… Just let go and let it happen!!

Thank you Dr. Pacik, Ms. Sue and the rest of the team!! Keep doing what you’re doing!! Even when gals like me get super sad and stop responding! Love you all!!! Oh and Ladies keep in touch with the girl Dr. P connects you with… mine has become a serious bestie… I call her my buddy and we text all the time. Love you chica!! (cause I know she’ll read this).

WE DID IT!!!

Alyx 😀

[coffee]

Congrats!!! That is so encouraging!! So after a year you all were finally to have intercourse? Thanks so much for sharing!! Gives me hope and the will to continue to work hard and keep moving. I am happy for you all. I had my procedure sept. 18 still have not had intercourse yet, but i dilate regularly. 🙂

[lesoc]

Congrats Alyx, I don’t think it’s ironic at all that it was Thanksgiving, I think that is a pretty fitting day for this for you 🙂

[Nakitalab]

That is great news, Alyx!!!! I’m so happy for you! Your perserverance is so inspiring! You were truly blessed on Thanksgiving! So very happy for you!

[Alyx]

Hi Coffee! Thank you!! Yes ma’am! It’s been over a year actually had my procedure last year on Sept. 19th and it’s now November!! I’m still floating on air with excitement! Please take hope in my situation… keep trying and don’t give up and don’t get depressed like I did… You can do it! Keep dilating don’t give up and stop like me… I know it sounds easier said than done, at least that’s what I thought when people would say it to me, but just keep trying… once you’re able to truely relax and get comfortable it will happen. In the beginning everything felt so awkard for me, even now, but being able to slowly become accustomed to the dilators in that area made it a little better. I still need to go have my gyn exam… even though I had the procedure and my philosophy didn’t make sense to my husband… I wanted him to “go in” first and then I wanted to go to the gyn so I’ve waited all this time! Don’t judge me! lol!! But anyhoo, I guess I said all of that to say – you can do it Coffee!! Don’t give up!! Msg me if you ever need to vent or something! 🙂

Hey Lesoc! Thanks chica! I said to my bestie it’s sooo funny that today is black friday but what we got last night was priceless!! lol!!

[Alyx]

Hey Nakitalab!! Thank you chica! I’m soo glad I’ve inspired you!! Don’t give up! I know it’s awkward feeling at first but you can do it!! 🙂

[Heather34]

Hi Alyx! I am so, so proud of you and KNEW that I would be reading your success story. You have come such a long way and I am just so, so happy for you. I consider you a serious bestie and true friend and know we will be friends forever. Love you too chica and couldn’t be more proud and happy for you and your hubby! God is good chica! :):):):)

[Dr. Pacik]

Made my Thanksgiving! That’s for sure. I’m so happy for you.

[Alyx]

Thank you soooo much Heather and Dr. P!! I’m still super excited!! 😀 Dr. P I did get your email and I marked it as unread so I make sure to get back to it once my shouting and dancing stage wares off!! LOL!!

On a physical note though, I normally would dilate while standing. I always found this much more comfortable, not sure why?? I didn’t find success with slumping over pillows or with the “missionary” position while trying to transition. I did find success the other night with me getting on top while he laid straight in the bed. We’d tried this before early on and it didn’t work so we never really went back to it, although, we did try different variations like with him kinda hanging off the bed after I’d dilated for about 3 hrs. and that never really worked for us either??? But just the regular old me on top while he lay flat in the bed worked great… my hubby even said it worked better because in that position I was in control. I could control the amount of pressure and when to try to slide down and etc. – Hope that helps somebody!!

Alyx 😀

[Dr. Pacik]

It’s common for newbie’s to struggle transitioning to intercourse. It’s supposed to be “natural” but in actual fact it is somewhat awkward the first time or two. This is understandable because two people have to be in sync with each other for it to work. Not that easy! Then there is the fear and anxiety factor which also interferes. Add to that the feelings “What if it doesn’t work?” question. Or “Will I be able to do this a second time?” In the end women are successful.
Now is a great time to resume a dilation program to make sure of continued success and to set the stage for your next hurdle, the GYN exam. When you are ready for this, dilate up to the largest dilator comfortable, arrive at your doctor’s office with the dilator and ask him or her to use the smallest child’s speculum. You will see how easy it is, easier than intercourse!! Any comments from the ladies?

[Catherine]

Yes, certainly for my husband and I, it was tricky transitioning from regular dilation to intercourse. Post our procedure, even after weeks of consistent dilation (at least 2 hours/day or night with the pink and/or blue) and a patient partner, we struggled with the actual mechanics of intercourse. As Dr. Pacik points out in this thread, the need to be “in sync” is crucial. For us, it has helped to attempt a side-by-side position where my husband inserts – essentially – facing my back. I never thought I would be comfortable with this set-up (seemed unromantic / awkward), but that’s how we were able to make things “fit” – at least for now.

It has been nearly 5 months since our first intercourse (took us about 1 month post procedure, including a few “failed” attempts), and we are still working on finding other positions – ones that are feasible, comfortable, and romantic. To be quite honest, this morning we tried the woman on top position – but – at least at this point – were not able to achieve insertion. I remain hopeful that with more practice we will find other possible intercourse positions.

As I reflect on all of this, I would highly recommend that women/couples working on intercourse “post vaginisums” (so to speak) really need to devote time to sex and sexual activity. To be perfectly candid, right now, that is our biggest stumbling block. With busy lives , it can require significant time and energy to put both the man and woman in the right frame of mind for this kind of mental, physical, emotional exercise. Wherever possible, couples may need to schedule days / time away (think second honeymoon(s)) to heal, connect, and grow.

Hope this helps!

[Nakitalab]

Catherine, that is something that my husband and I are struggling with right now is finding, making time to work on us. I am 32 days post procedure and have had successful pain free penetration three/four times. We also have been having a hard time finding the right position(s) for us and it seems the side by side one works the best for us right now too. I need to work on my trust issues and we had started watching the sensate focus exercises but unfortunately with a new out of town business we have not been able to spend anymore time on it. This seems to be our biggest obstacle right now….finding, making time for us. Everything is still very mechanical and I look forward to when I can truly relax and trust so that we can work on it being more intimate.