Postpartum Intimacy

Well, that depends on several variables. And it depends upon what you mean by “sex”. If you’re asking about intercourse, it’s generally best to wait until you have your standard six-week postpartum visit with your midwife or OBGYN. Why? Because it takes 6 weeks for the uterus to shrink back down to its normal pear-like size. We refer to the first 3 months postpartum as the “Fourth Trimester” because it is a time of great recovery for a new mom’s body. And the first 6 weeks require special reverence.

That said, if you would like to engage sexually with your partner sans penetration before your visit, we recommend checking in with your provider for safety’s sake. Most women aren’t necessarily ready for a return to sex soon after the baby arrives. The biggest factor that determines when you can have sex postpartum is how you are feeling. You’ve just birthed a human, you’re in recovery, you’re sleep-deprived, you’re experiencing a hormonal shift, of which your body has never known (nor will it ever again). You might be experiencing postpartum anxiety or depression (1 in 5 women report some type of perinatal mood and anxiety disorder). Are you breast feeding (which causes a natural dip in sex drive)? Do you have any/enough support? Are you getting any rest? Is your baby healthy? Do you have other children? All of these factors can influence libido and how long you should wait to have sex. 

If you’re past the six-week postpartum mark and you are experiencing pain during sex, talk to your midwife or OBGYN, or come see us at Maze Women’s Health. We’ll provide you with a comprehensive initial appointment, diagnosis and treatment options. Motherhood requires rest and recovery, but it doesn’t mean you can’t return to a satisfying sex life. Don’t let postpartum pain be a barrier to pleasure (even if you have to plan a bit more to get some)!

Every new mother is unique, and no postpartum symptom is universal. That said, many women experience similar physical symptoms, depending upon whether they had a vaginal or cesarean birth, whether they had medical intervention during their labor/delivery, their medical/prenatal history, whether they are bottle or breast feeding, how their recovery is progressing, whether they are getting adequate nutrition, rest and support, etc. And 1 in 5 new moms report a mood/anxiety disorder (ranging from the benign “baby blues” to more serious postpartum depression, OCD, etc.). Because every woman is different and her circumstances can vary widely, it’s impossible to pinpoint an exact trajectory for healing.

Many women who experienced low-risk pregnancies, labors and births feel more like themselves by the time the Fourth Trimester is complete. No one should suffer in silence – whether discomfort or pain is behavioral or physiological, women should reach out to their care providers for help.